How to Make Money in Your Spare Time 2:28 PM

I've discovered fatherhood can be expensive. I need to read this book.

A 10 for creativity... 8:17 PM

A zero for everything else.

Necessary Reform 8:56 PM

There is a crisis in this nation.

If left unchecked, this crisis threatens to obliterate the very foundation of our existence. There can be no compromise. Rather, we must stand steadfast and demand the following reforms as if our lives and legacy depended on them...because they do.

I am talking of Waiting Room Reform.

The Waiting Room does not discriminate between right, left, man, woman, black, white, Christian, or pagan. It is a black hole of brimstone with a two-month old Good Housekeeping orbiting a galaxy of airborne assassins. There can be no rest until the following reforms are implemented - deficit or not!

1) Each waiting room shall have a variety of selection of magazines. I am not interested in how Kirstie Alley got her bikini body back, nor do I plan on expending the time or the attention necessary to keep up with the Mating Habits of Amazonian Monkeys. Further, the ten minute tuna casserole is of no interest to me. Waiting Rooms should contain magazines for all genders and interest...let's say, Time, Sports Illustrated, Entertainment Weekly, and People. Good Housekeeping (which has hitherto had a monopoly on waiting rooms) is permanently banned. Money spent on the fish tank can be better spent in magazine subscriptions.

2) Each waiting room shall have up to date magazines. Time capsules belong in the ground and in the back of yearbooks.

3) Each chair shall not share armrests. I understand that patient privacy laws prevent me from determining what is wrong with the person whose arm is rubbing against mine. Rubbing arms is the front line in defending disease.

4) Each chair shall contain mandatory sanitary dispensers that spray like the produce at Kroger. Constant freshness and sanitary-ness.

5) Prevent particular television shows. What did waiting rooms show prior to The View? Daytime television (I am looking at you too, Arthur) is banned from waiting room television sets. The Price is Right is the only exception. Waiting rooms must only show movies that one would stop and watch if you catch them while flipping through channels. These movies include anything that is a trilogy, anything by Pixar, and anything with Tom Cruise. Saved by the Bell is also acceptable.

6) People are slotted in seats based on sickness. I love Jesus, I want to love people like Jesus loves me, but I do not want to sit next to someone who is throwing up. Thus, there should be the following color-coded sections in each doctor's office waiting room. 1. cold / respiratory issues 2. diarrhea 3. vomiting 4. unknown / multiple systems. Someone will have to help me choose the colors...I am color blind.

I will continue to pay 25% of my salary for health insurance only if these bi-partisan reforms are implemented.

Church Council Meetings 9:29 PM

Good to know that Barack sometimes gets frustrated by old white men as well.

The Leprechaun 2:49 PM

It could be a crackhead or a shadow, but irregardless the leprechaun has emerged from a month-long slog in the YouTube morass to claim ultimate victory! In celebration of the amateur sketch and its resounding defeat of Bubb Rubb, Cassie, Denny Hazen, and the illustrious grape stomp. I present you with this victory dance.



I will give you the gold - because you won.

If you voted for the leprechaun, throw up your camera phone and give me YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The Finals 8:37 PM

The Clash of the YouTube Titans. Will the special Leprechaun flute silence the morning alarm clock? Will the YEEEAAH wipe out the WHOO WHOO!? Will Bubb Rubb and Lil Sis shut down camera-phones and crackheads? 1 vs. 2!!

(1)Alabama Leprechaun vs.
(2) Whistle Tips





The matchup, and the tournament, end at midnight CST Wednesday!

Final Four 12:51 PM

Having had some time to cleanse the YouTube palate, let us allow the belly laughs to bubble once more, with the tournament's final four.

(1) Alabama Leprechaun vs.
(4) Average Homeboy

The special leprechaun flute duels the running-it-by-myself Casio keyboard.

Average Homeboy
can rap until dawn
but will he de-tree
the lep-re-chaun?





(2) Whistle Tips vs.
(3) Cassie vs. the Monster

Will the whistle tips wake up Cassie in the morning? Or will Cassie deliver another ask-kicking to the combined Bubb Rubb and Lil' Sis?





Semi-Finals last until Sunday night! The battle to crown the champion commences on Monday.

Round 2 - Matchups 1 and 2 12:38 PM

Round 2 Begins!

This guy, decked out head to toe, tries to use his special leprechaun flute to tumble Scarlet right out of the tournament. Scarlet tries to perform that and break someone else's neck off a table. Crackhead in a tree, meet crackhead on a table.


(1) Leprechaun in Alabama vs.
(8) Scarlet Takes a Tumble






The Japanese Aerobics class beg Blazin' Hazen to spare me my life, while Denny reminds them that the audio is only rough because he was running it for himself. Will the Average Homeboy fare better than the bandanna-clad Homeboy Robbers?


(12) Japanese Aerobics vs.
(4) Blazin' Hazen





Voting open until noon CST tomorrow!

Hilar8e 2:47 PM

The Elite 8 have separated themselves from the pretenders. Despite the absence of "I like turtles" and "Grape Stomp", the laugh-inducing lineup will cause you great joy and great distress as you choose which box to click.

Preview the second round goodness - and come back tomorrow and Wednesday.

(1) Alabama Leprechaun vs.
(8) Scarlet Takes a Tumble

(12) English Lessons / Aerobics vs.
(4) Blazin' Hazen

(3) Cassie vs. the Monster vs.
(6) Charlie Bit Me

(10) Miss Teen South Carolina vs.
(2) Whistle Tips

Round 1 - Matches 7 and 8 10:10 PM

Waiting for the last two entries into the second round. Cassie kicks some ask and the Grape Stomp lady gets bitten by an English bulldog.

(3) Cassie (70%)
(14) Newscaster (30%)

(6) Charlie (55%)
(11) Grape Stomp (45%)

Today's Matchups!

Can Miss Teen South Carolina discover Kentucky on a map before the Turtleman pulls her by her tail? It is my personal belief that that there Indian Rebel yell is in for a battle.

(7) Kentucky Turtleman
(10) Miss Teen South Carolina





Will the whistling Bubb Rubb and Lil Sis (That's only in the morning!) drive Jesus crazy before He, and his vest-matching backup singers ZAP them?

(15) Sonseed
(2) Whistle Tips





You have until 8 AM CST Monday! Second round begins then!

Round 1 - Matches 5 and 6 5:49 PM

The dreaded 12 vs. 5 matchup results in the first upset of the tournament! Denny Hazen blazes on to the second round.

(5) Turtle Kid (45%)
(12) Japanese Aerobics (54%)

(4) Average Homeboy (69%)
(13) Pinky the Cat (30%)


Is the newscaster going to be gay...er...excuse me...victorious? Or is Cassie gonna kick her ask when she comes over here?

(3) Cassie and the Monster
(14) Newscaster Mistake







Will Charlie get stomped like a grape (oooh oooh aaah) or will Charlie bit me (and it really hurt!)?

(6) Charlie Bit Me
(11) Grape Stomp





You have 24 hours!

Round 1 - Matchups 3 and 4 12:10 PM

The number one seed Leprechaun holds off an explosive attempt from the sixteenth seed whale while number eight Scarlet narrowly avoids the surprised ninth-seeded Tyrone.


Today's Matchup!

Will the Turtle Boy teach the Japanese Aerobic girls a new English phrase? Or will the Japanese aerobics class take anything they want?

(5) I Like Turtles
(12) Japanese Aerobics






Will Pinky sink his teeth into the Average Homeboy? Or will Denny Hazen blaze Pinky? Remember, it's just a demo.

(4) Average Homeboy
(13) Pinky the Cat






You have 24 hours!

1st Round Matchup 2:05 PM

Will the upset-minded whale explode the leprechaun? Or will the leprechaun cast a shadow on all crackheads that attempt to uproot this tree?

1) Leprechaun in Alabama
(16) Exploding Whale






Will Tyrone surprise Scarlet with a right cross? Or will Scarlet tumble into the next round?

(8) Scarlet Takes a Tumble
(9) Tyrone vs. Halloween

Mirth Announcement 10:46 PM

Once you lose your laughter, it is a slippery slope down to bottoming burnout. So, in light of spring forgetting to arrive, let's crank the hilarity to eleven and pull off the knobs.

In light of (another) bracket defeat by not one, but two girls who have NO CLUE about college basketball, I decided to participate in a bracket that I could win - one that I put together. Below, you will find the preview bracket for a month's worth of mirth - culled from the finest You Tube has to offer. You, faithful reader (and casual passerby who stumbles here) will have a chance to measure the hilarity by casting your vote for one out of the two hilarious videos shown here. The videos are seeded (even though you can't see that) and one will advance from every match up.

Here are the guidelines I used:
1) The videos had to be unintentionally funny. Michael Scott and Andy Samberg will be sitting this one out.
2) The videos had to be clean - which almost disqualified Cassie.
3) When possible, I tried to limit the types of videos. (i.e. I could watch people falling all day). So, limited falling, limited animals, and limited people from Kentucky.

Below, you will find the bracket - voting starts Monday. Any guesses on the winner?

Straight outta Compton..er... Retirement Village, Florida 2:07 PM

I love it when generations come together. Stick around for highlight at 4:10.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

For the Lexicon 7:48 PM

Idiodyssey - [id-ee-od-uh-see] noun.

- a journey or experience with moronic or unscrupulous persons
- ex. Johnny thought the field trip would be fun, but it turned into another idiodyssey.

Dunning Kruger Effect 4:12 PM

Not unrelated to the previous post...

"Dunning-Kruger effect (dun'-eng kroo'-guhr e-fekt') noun. The phenomenon wherein people who have little knowledge or skill tend to think they know more or have more skill than they do, while simultaneously overlooking or underestimating the knowledge and skills of others.

Usage example: There's this guy in my pickup league who couldn't hit a shot if a genie gave him three wishes and he used all three to do it...but he always chucks it up without conscience. He must be suffering from Dunning-Kruger effect.

Word history: The term is based on a series experiments performed by Justin Kruger and David Dunning, both of Cornell University, the results of which were published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in December 1999. Here's an explanation from the abstract:

People tend to hold overly favorable views of their abilities in many social and intellectual domains. The authors suggest that this overestimation occurs, in part, because people who are unskilled in these domains suffer a dual burden: Not only do these people reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the metacognitive ability to realize it. Across four studies, The authors found that participants scoring in the bottom quartile on tests of humor, grammar, and logic grossly overestimated their test performance and ability. Although their test scores put them in the 12th percentile, they estimated themselves to be in the 62nd. Several analyses linked this miscalibration to deficits in metacognitive skill, or the capacity to distinguish accuracy from error.

Incompetent individuals will be less able than their more competent peers to gain insight into their true level of performance by means of social comparison information. In particular, because of their difficulty recognizing competence in others, incompetent individuals will be unable to use information about the choices and performances of others to form more accurate impressions of their own ability.

Thus, most people think they're better than they really are, but they're too stupid to realize it. And that same stupidity makes it difficult (and sometimes impossible) for them to recognize skills and competence in the non-stupids, which perpetuates their cycle of idiocy and megalomania."

Would anyone like to discuss the implications of this for ministry? ;)

Sinful Dancing (pt. 2) 6:28 PM

You can't keep a good video down....

Here's the link to "The Renewed Mind" in all its original glory.

http://www.theway.org/Current/Mar07/Mar07Flash4.htm

Sinful Dancing 11:23 AM

Some denominations reject dancing as sinful...maybe this is why.



1) When did John Travolta give up Scientology?
2) Dig the guy in the background getting into it.
3) Dig the breakdown.
4) Is that the REAL copyright date? Jesus save us...

Hat tip for this day-making hilarity this way.

UPDATE - It seems the Travolta family was less than impressed that their song and dance was making its way around the internet. So, those of you that got to the party late will just have to imagine the hilarity.

What's Love Got To Do With It? 1:58 PM

Faced with imminent danger and destruction of property, some Texans assure Ike that Tina is to be found elsewhere.