We Interrupt this Hilarity.... 3:01 PM

to bring you an important Public Service Announcement.



Tournament resumes tonight with the Final Four tipping off!

Round 2 - Matches 3 and 4 9:40 PM

Two spots left in the Final Four - who will join Blazin' Hazen and the Leprechaun (YEEEEEEEAAAH!!!)

Today's Matchup!

When kids attack - If Charlie comes in here, Cassie's gonna kick his ask. Either way, it WEALLY hurd, Chah-lee.


(3) Cassie vs. the Monster vs.
(6) Charlie Bit Me






Some-a US-Americans don't have maps - but some-a US-Americans have whistle-tips, that go WOOOO-WOOOO. Will Miss Teen South Carolina locate the whistle tips or will Bubb-Rubb and Lil Sis be heard from miles away?

(10) Miss Teen South Carolina vs.
(2) Whistle Tips






Round 2 ends Friday night! Finals weekend begins Saturday morning!!

Round 2 - Matchups 1 and 2 12:38 PM

Round 2 Begins!

This guy, decked out head to toe, tries to use his special leprechaun flute to tumble Scarlet right out of the tournament. Scarlet tries to perform that and break someone else's neck off a table. Crackhead in a tree, meet crackhead on a table.


(1) Leprechaun in Alabama vs.
(8) Scarlet Takes a Tumble






The Japanese Aerobics class beg Blazin' Hazen to spare me my life, while Denny reminds them that the audio is only rough because he was running it for himself. Will the Average Homeboy fare better than the bandanna-clad Homeboy Robbers?


(12) Japanese Aerobics vs.
(4) Blazin' Hazen





Voting open until noon CST tomorrow!

Hilar8e 2:47 PM

The Elite 8 have separated themselves from the pretenders. Despite the absence of "I like turtles" and "Grape Stomp", the laugh-inducing lineup will cause you great joy and great distress as you choose which box to click.

Preview the second round goodness - and come back tomorrow and Wednesday.

(1) Alabama Leprechaun vs.
(8) Scarlet Takes a Tumble

(12) English Lessons / Aerobics vs.
(4) Blazin' Hazen

(3) Cassie vs. the Monster vs.
(6) Charlie Bit Me

(10) Miss Teen South Carolina vs.
(2) Whistle Tips

Round 1 - Matches 7 and 8 10:10 PM

Waiting for the last two entries into the second round. Cassie kicks some ask and the Grape Stomp lady gets bitten by an English bulldog.

(3) Cassie (70%)
(14) Newscaster (30%)

(6) Charlie (55%)
(11) Grape Stomp (45%)

Today's Matchups!

Can Miss Teen South Carolina discover Kentucky on a map before the Turtleman pulls her by her tail? It is my personal belief that that there Indian Rebel yell is in for a battle.

(7) Kentucky Turtleman
(10) Miss Teen South Carolina





Will the whistling Bubb Rubb and Lil Sis (That's only in the morning!) drive Jesus crazy before He, and his vest-matching backup singers ZAP them?

(15) Sonseed
(2) Whistle Tips





You have until 8 AM CST Monday! Second round begins then!

Round 1 - Matches 5 and 6 5:49 PM

The dreaded 12 vs. 5 matchup results in the first upset of the tournament! Denny Hazen blazes on to the second round.

(5) Turtle Kid (45%)
(12) Japanese Aerobics (54%)

(4) Average Homeboy (69%)
(13) Pinky the Cat (30%)


Is the newscaster going to be gay...er...excuse me...victorious? Or is Cassie gonna kick her ask when she comes over here?

(3) Cassie and the Monster
(14) Newscaster Mistake







Will Charlie get stomped like a grape (oooh oooh aaah) or will Charlie bit me (and it really hurt!)?

(6) Charlie Bit Me
(11) Grape Stomp





You have 24 hours!

Round 1 - Matchups 3 and 4 12:10 PM

The number one seed Leprechaun holds off an explosive attempt from the sixteenth seed whale while number eight Scarlet narrowly avoids the surprised ninth-seeded Tyrone.


Today's Matchup!

Will the Turtle Boy teach the Japanese Aerobic girls a new English phrase? Or will the Japanese aerobics class take anything they want?

(5) I Like Turtles
(12) Japanese Aerobics






Will Pinky sink his teeth into the Average Homeboy? Or will Denny Hazen blaze Pinky? Remember, it's just a demo.

(4) Average Homeboy
(13) Pinky the Cat






You have 24 hours!

1st Round Matchup 2:05 PM

Will the upset-minded whale explode the leprechaun? Or will the leprechaun cast a shadow on all crackheads that attempt to uproot this tree?

1) Leprechaun in Alabama
(16) Exploding Whale






Will Tyrone surprise Scarlet with a right cross? Or will Scarlet tumble into the next round?

(8) Scarlet Takes a Tumble
(9) Tyrone vs. Halloween

Mirth Announcement 10:46 PM

Once you lose your laughter, it is a slippery slope down to bottoming burnout. So, in light of spring forgetting to arrive, let's crank the hilarity to eleven and pull off the knobs.

In light of (another) bracket defeat by not one, but two girls who have NO CLUE about college basketball, I decided to participate in a bracket that I could win - one that I put together. Below, you will find the preview bracket for a month's worth of mirth - culled from the finest You Tube has to offer. You, faithful reader (and casual passerby who stumbles here) will have a chance to measure the hilarity by casting your vote for one out of the two hilarious videos shown here. The videos are seeded (even though you can't see that) and one will advance from every match up.

Here are the guidelines I used:
1) The videos had to be unintentionally funny. Michael Scott and Andy Samberg will be sitting this one out.
2) The videos had to be clean - which almost disqualified Cassie.
3) When possible, I tried to limit the types of videos. (i.e. I could watch people falling all day). So, limited falling, limited animals, and limited people from Kentucky.

Below, you will find the bracket - voting starts Monday. Any guesses on the winner?

Virtual World 7:07 PM

Came upon this a brief but interesting article with regards to the virtual world created by doctored images. Copied and pasted below, with my emphasis added.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The hat tip.

French public health officials are considering laws that would ban the promotion of eating disorders — including a requirement that magazines reveal the extent to which their images have been artificially retouched. It’s viewed as a public health issue because girls and boys (and men and women) are feeling increasingly ashamed of their bodies as they compare themselves to what they see all around them — images of bodies that are not real, that have been photoshopped, digitally airbrushed and heavily modified.

Of course, ever since the birth of the movie star early last century, their images have been cleaned up, improved and controlled. Celebrities and pin-ups have been with us for a long time, and the fairytale world of far-off Hollywood was always infinitely better than whatever small town reality you were living in. But it was just that — a fairytale kingdom that existed far away, with relatively few inhabitants.

The difference, I suppose, is that of quantity, not quality. These days, altered images are ubiquitous; the fairytale world threatens to engulf our own. The illusion is more complete, too — with digital technology it’s harder to see the smoothing. Stalin would have drooled at the possibilities. Almost nothing one sees in print or advertisements hasn’t been “improved” in some way, except maybe some journalistic news photos — and even those are suspect. There’s the visual field that consists of us and our friends, and then there’s the print world — certainly more dramatic, and often more physically perfect. We live in a parallel universe, slightly more drab and definitely more pudgy.

One can’t legislate the heavenly world out of existence — people need fairytales, after all — but maybe a more constant reminder to not believe everything we see would help us to retain some tenuous connection with our pathetic reality. The thing is, we can’t help believing what we see. When I look at an impossibly sexy woman on a billboard, I can tell myself that she’s been sculpted and smoothed to death, but I’m riveted and transfixed nonetheless. Instinct triumphs over intellect.

Pascal Dangin, a well-known retoucher who works on a lot of the images in fashion magazines (and for some fine artists as well), naturally doesn’t see it exactly that way. He makes photos that “improve on life,” in his words. But if I can paraphrase, he might say that he makes an image more like what it wants to be — and therefore it ends up being closer to what we desire to see. That doesn’t necessarily mean perfect — he is careful to avoid airbrushing the personality out of a person — but it does mean he’s certainly not against making quite a few (what he has determined are aesthetic) improvements.

The health departments are alarmed at the effect all this is having on young people. Boys hanker for steroids, and girls, a session with the knife, in order to look more like what they see in the magazines. Unfortunately, the magazines don’t just feature physically enhanced people — they’ve been heavily retouched as well. We would have to hand out some kind of high-tech, rose colored, photoshopping glasses in order to achieve a visual simulation of the media population."

Insightful 4:48 PM

A Washington Post reporter likes to ask athletes metaphysical questions. He introduced his latest column with this.

"There's been a lot of talk this week among a certain segment of our readers on whether it's acceptable for a sportswriter to hate sports. Hyperbole aside, I'd say most of us have those moments of "Wow, I thought I was going to change the world and instead I'm watching a 16-55 NBA team descend to 16-56 while little kids dance to 'Mony Mony' on the big screen and grown men fight for freebie t-shirts fired by a dude in a full-body blue Spandex suit."

Even though I love my job, there are particularly difficult days where I think the ministerial equivalent of this.

Hall of Fame 4:45 PM

Already in my Hall of Fame, John Stockton is officially part of the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame.



The story of Stockton's career- he will be inducted alongside / overshadowed by Michael Jordan. It was good to see him again. He looks like he could average 10 points and 5 assists as a 47 year old.

Joys of the Jazz 8:20 PM

It's about time someone besides me paid attention to the Jazz. It's a shame it had to be done this way...



While I hope to raise Stockton as a Jazz fan, I would very much like to avoid this.

The Questions 10:12 PM

"Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone's face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentments? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions!" -Henri Nouwen

Mourning 10:11 PM

"I had already hit the wall, and this is the ton of bricks that was on top of the wall that I am now buried under."

Jason to Dana, Sunday night, 8:34 CST, after learning Stockton had body slammed the laptop.

I have learned many things as a father. And this week, I am learning forgiveness. My beloved baby boy, all 29 pounds of him, pulled the laptop off an end table, potentially destroying the hard drive and all that resided on it. (I say potentially because there is but one thing left to try and because I am in denial.) As of now, pictures and videos of Stockton's first year of life and a TOME of seminary material are lost somewhere between the dented whoseywhatsit and the jammed thingamajig.

One day we might look back on this and laugh, but not today friends. Not tomorrow either.


Probably not Monday either.