John Stockton: namesake of my son, all-time NBA assists leader, all-time NBA steals leader, the point guard position defined, and pitchman?! For Diet Pepsi? I am a borderline obsessed Stockton fan, and this is new to me. Jesus save us.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Good For Coughs 10:06 PM
The Stanford School of Medicine has put together a compendium of cigarette company advertisements. These advertisements exist on the border between hilarious and insane; featuring doctors, cartoon characters, nurses, cultural icons, athletes, government officials, priests, men, women, and even babies(!) promoting the use of cigarettes - sometimes for HEALTH BENEFITS! The health benefits include, ironically enough, getting over a cold, and easing a sore throat or cough. There is a section where advertisements of the past are set side by side with more contemporary counterparts.
Give yourself some time and check out the gallery and commentary. I spent about an hour browsing through the different advertisements before hearing Buddy the Elf whisper very loudly to the tobacco companies: "You sit on a throne of lies."
Give yourself some time and check out the gallery and commentary. I spent about an hour browsing through the different advertisements before hearing Buddy the Elf whisper very loudly to the tobacco companies: "You sit on a throne of lies."
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Crikey! 5:15 PM
The creative ways of the Creator are of unending fascination to me. First, Ranger Rick and Zoobooks ushered me into pouched kangaroos and shade-shifting chameleons. Then, the (Crikey!) Crocodile Hunter brought crocodiles and snakes into the living room. Now, CNN is getting in on the action by reporting that over 1,000 new species of flora and fauna have been discovered. Here are some highlights:
- "A rat believed to be extinct for 11 million years, a spider with a foot-long legspan, and a hot pink cyanide-producing "dragon millipede" are among the thousand newly discovered species in the largely unexplored Mekong Delta region" I have no desire in seeing a rat. I have even less desire to see a spider with a "foot-span" half the size of my son.
- "Perhaps a more startling discovery than the rat was a bright green pit viper scientists spotted slithering through the rafters of a restaurant in Khao Yai National Park in Thailand." Given the recent 47 out of 100 health score for my favorite Asian restaurant in Bowling Green, this is troubling.
- "There are cultural obstacles to protecting rare species, too. Many restaurants serve them as food. Restaurants often have rickety bamboo floors that one can look through to see cages filled with exotic animals, Chungyalpa says. The more exotic the animal, the more status it often bestows on the person who consumes it." Can't they just look at a menu?
Thankfully, the McRib and the Fish Filet continues to be made without harming our endangered allies.
- "A rat believed to be extinct for 11 million years, a spider with a foot-long legspan, and a hot pink cyanide-producing "dragon millipede" are among the thousand newly discovered species in the largely unexplored Mekong Delta region" I have no desire in seeing a rat. I have even less desire to see a spider with a "foot-span" half the size of my son.
- "Perhaps a more startling discovery than the rat was a bright green pit viper scientists spotted slithering through the rafters of a restaurant in Khao Yai National Park in Thailand." Given the recent 47 out of 100 health score for my favorite Asian restaurant in Bowling Green, this is troubling.
- "There are cultural obstacles to protecting rare species, too. Many restaurants serve them as food. Restaurants often have rickety bamboo floors that one can look through to see cages filled with exotic animals, Chungyalpa says. The more exotic the animal, the more status it often bestows on the person who consumes it." Can't they just look at a menu?
Thankfully, the McRib and the Fish Filet continues to be made without harming our endangered allies.
Friday, December 19, 2008
The Price is Wrong 4:53 PM
I mastered the art of faking a fever in order to hear "Come on down!" and see the sucker-stick-thin microphone of Bob Barker. One of my life goals was to get on the Price is Right. Having seen the amount of passion and excitement Drew Carey responds to a record-breaking Showcase Showdown, I will instead aim for Jeopardy. Raise your game, Drew.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Robe-Man-Tic 6:40 PM
As I sit on my living floor typing this particular blog entry, I am enjoying sipping a mug of hot chocolate sitting in my terry-cloth robe. Despite what others may tell you, wearing a robe in no way denigrates your manhood. In fact, wearing a robe puts you in good company, including:
Jesus, the Son of God, the Savior, the model of life (it would stand to reason that since Jesus wore a robe, God also wears a robe. Also, if Jesus was wearing a robe when he left, will he be wearing one when he comes back? Will I get to skip to the front of the line if I am wearing my robe? Won't I have an awesome conversation piece with Jesus upon His return? We can talk brands, materials, how heterosexual it is to wear a robe, etc.)
Paul, the man who spread the news of the Gospel
The Disciples
The Prophets
Kings (including Kind David, and King Solomon - the wisest man who ever lived wears robes!)
Various monks, priests, philosophers, and intellectuals
Further, donning a robe is often done on special occasions, so wearing a robe allows you to remember and recall the following special occasions:
Graduation / Commencement
Baptism
Finally, robes not only provide comfort, but also convenience. Most robes have pockets to hold books, pens, notebooks, and other intellectual paraphernalia. Gym shorts and t-shirts do not allow for carrying any of these things comfortably.
Thus, robe wearing has a celebrated and manly history.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
27 at 27 10:15 PM
Twenty-seven years ago, my parents met my slippery-naked self and were amazed at how giant my ears looked next to my head. My ears have continued to grow at an exponential rate. Here are 27 other things I have learned about myself and life in general.
1. You can always do it better. If you had more time, more energy, or saw more colors. Perfectionism can kill you because it paralyzes your ability to accept and perform the good.
2. Write stuff down. You will forget the great idea, great illustration, or God-insight that you just had. Carry a pen with you at all times (pilot G-2 07) and a piece of paper (or a moleskine).
3. Find a worthy mentor. Ask lots of questions.
4. Don’t use the bathroom on public toilets. That is gross. (Side note: There is nothing worse than a cold toilet seat.)
5. The first 8 months of parenthood are the most difficult of your life…so far.
6. Don’t overuse words – it makes them less powerful. The only word that maintains its power is “love”.
7. The Gospel of Luke is my favorite book of the Bible. I believe Luke when he says he researched it thoroughly – that sits well with me.
8. You mimic the people around you, whether you mean to or not.
9. Everything I do (talk on the cell phone, flip the remote, eat a steak, raspberry bellies), Stockton attempts to do until he does it.
10. I like popsicles – the kind in the plastic sleeve. Crunch up the popsicle and drink the juicy deliciousness.
11. Your Facebook status is not the place to write emo poetry / song lyrics.
12. Find a wife who will be honest to you. It may be difficult when she tells you that you look like crap – but you will feel better when you change into wife-approved outfit.
13. My dad can fix anything and use the words sprocket and wingnut in proper context. Sadly, I cannot.
14. If the church expects to be relevant, then it must speak God’s truth to the minimum wage, your retirement fund, 3rd period Spanish, and the 15 items or less checkout lane at Wal-Mart. What does God have to say to that person who haggles for free fries at McDonald’s because his order took so long?
15. Classic books are called “classic” for a reason. They are the ones that haunt you – not in the Stephen King way – and make you think.
16. Black jellybeans are made by Satan.
17. Nothing makes me angrier than people who say, “he’s white” because a person can’t dance or “he’s black” because a person can dunk. Why are these things ok to say?
18. No one ever says, “Hey! Remember that time you stayed home and played Madden and watched YouTube by yourself!” I’m not saying its not necessary (because it is, Dana) just saying no one ever gets excited about it.
19. If you get cold while you sleep, you should marry someone who gets hot while they sleep. That way, the covers they toss off go onto you.
20. Everyone should have a little boy with a gummy grin.
21. Having someone to always scratch your back: one of the best parts of being married.
22. Barbecue sauce makes everything more delicious.
23. I have difficulty accepting marketing people in ministry positions. Marketing is about spinning lies into truth – ministry is about separating the two. (with a hat tip)
24. Men who wear bathrobes are not gay. They simply enjoy being warm and comfortable.
25. Belly laughs and good art are necessary for a good life – and are to be enjoyed with friends.
26. Most things happen on a continuum. Stockton didn’t just flip a switch one day and start talking / walking / laughing – these things slowly evolved over time, from the prone-position lunge, to the army crawl, to the four legged crawl, to the tentative step, to the confident step. People, relationships, and faith are the same way – things develop on a continuum, not binary switches that have two, and only two, positions.
27. The internet is awesome (Wikipedia, Facebook, YouTube, Blogs, etc.) but runs the risk of demeaning complex issues into a two-minute (or two-second) sound byte. I have found myself NOT watching a YouTube video because you had to wait over three minutes to get to the funny part.
28. (bonus fact!) “Fragment consider revising” would be a great title for a blog or a book.
29. (extra bonus fact!) No one reads blogs that are this long. (see number 27) Thanks, quality reader, for making it this far.
1. You can always do it better. If you had more time, more energy, or saw more colors. Perfectionism can kill you because it paralyzes your ability to accept and perform the good.
2. Write stuff down. You will forget the great idea, great illustration, or God-insight that you just had. Carry a pen with you at all times (pilot G-2 07) and a piece of paper (or a moleskine).
3. Find a worthy mentor. Ask lots of questions.
4. Don’t use the bathroom on public toilets. That is gross. (Side note: There is nothing worse than a cold toilet seat.)
5. The first 8 months of parenthood are the most difficult of your life…so far.
6. Don’t overuse words – it makes them less powerful. The only word that maintains its power is “love”.
7. The Gospel of Luke is my favorite book of the Bible. I believe Luke when he says he researched it thoroughly – that sits well with me.
8. You mimic the people around you, whether you mean to or not.
9. Everything I do (talk on the cell phone, flip the remote, eat a steak, raspberry bellies), Stockton attempts to do until he does it.
10. I like popsicles – the kind in the plastic sleeve. Crunch up the popsicle and drink the juicy deliciousness.
11. Your Facebook status is not the place to write emo poetry / song lyrics.
12. Find a wife who will be honest to you. It may be difficult when she tells you that you look like crap – but you will feel better when you change into wife-approved outfit.
13. My dad can fix anything and use the words sprocket and wingnut in proper context. Sadly, I cannot.
14. If the church expects to be relevant, then it must speak God’s truth to the minimum wage, your retirement fund, 3rd period Spanish, and the 15 items or less checkout lane at Wal-Mart. What does God have to say to that person who haggles for free fries at McDonald’s because his order took so long?
15. Classic books are called “classic” for a reason. They are the ones that haunt you – not in the Stephen King way – and make you think.
16. Black jellybeans are made by Satan.
17. Nothing makes me angrier than people who say, “he’s white” because a person can’t dance or “he’s black” because a person can dunk. Why are these things ok to say?
18. No one ever says, “Hey! Remember that time you stayed home and played Madden and watched YouTube by yourself!” I’m not saying its not necessary (because it is, Dana) just saying no one ever gets excited about it.
19. If you get cold while you sleep, you should marry someone who gets hot while they sleep. That way, the covers they toss off go onto you.
20. Everyone should have a little boy with a gummy grin.
21. Having someone to always scratch your back: one of the best parts of being married.
22. Barbecue sauce makes everything more delicious.
23. I have difficulty accepting marketing people in ministry positions. Marketing is about spinning lies into truth – ministry is about separating the two. (with a hat tip)
24. Men who wear bathrobes are not gay. They simply enjoy being warm and comfortable.
25. Belly laughs and good art are necessary for a good life – and are to be enjoyed with friends.
26. Most things happen on a continuum. Stockton didn’t just flip a switch one day and start talking / walking / laughing – these things slowly evolved over time, from the prone-position lunge, to the army crawl, to the four legged crawl, to the tentative step, to the confident step. People, relationships, and faith are the same way – things develop on a continuum, not binary switches that have two, and only two, positions.
27. The internet is awesome (Wikipedia, Facebook, YouTube, Blogs, etc.) but runs the risk of demeaning complex issues into a two-minute (or two-second) sound byte. I have found myself NOT watching a YouTube video because you had to wait over three minutes to get to the funny part.
28. (bonus fact!) “Fragment consider revising” would be a great title for a blog or a book.
29. (extra bonus fact!) No one reads blogs that are this long. (see number 27) Thanks, quality reader, for making it this far.
