John Stockton: namesake of my son, all-time NBA assists leader, all-time NBA steals leader, the point guard position defined, and pitchman?! For Diet Pepsi? I am a borderline obsessed Stockton fan, and this is new to me. Jesus save us.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Good For Coughs 10:06 PM
The Stanford School of Medicine has put together a compendium of cigarette company advertisements. These advertisements exist on the border between hilarious and insane; featuring doctors, cartoon characters, nurses, cultural icons, athletes, government officials, priests, men, women, and even babies(!) promoting the use of cigarettes - sometimes for HEALTH BENEFITS! The health benefits include, ironically enough, getting over a cold, and easing a sore throat or cough. There is a section where advertisements of the past are set side by side with more contemporary counterparts.
Give yourself some time and check out the gallery and commentary. I spent about an hour browsing through the different advertisements before hearing Buddy the Elf whisper very loudly to the tobacco companies: "You sit on a throne of lies."
Give yourself some time and check out the gallery and commentary. I spent about an hour browsing through the different advertisements before hearing Buddy the Elf whisper very loudly to the tobacco companies: "You sit on a throne of lies."
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Crikey! 5:15 PM
The creative ways of the Creator are of unending fascination to me. First, Ranger Rick and Zoobooks ushered me into pouched kangaroos and shade-shifting chameleons. Then, the (Crikey!) Crocodile Hunter brought crocodiles and snakes into the living room. Now, CNN is getting in on the action by reporting that over 1,000 new species of flora and fauna have been discovered. Here are some highlights:
- "A rat believed to be extinct for 11 million years, a spider with a foot-long legspan, and a hot pink cyanide-producing "dragon millipede" are among the thousand newly discovered species in the largely unexplored Mekong Delta region" I have no desire in seeing a rat. I have even less desire to see a spider with a "foot-span" half the size of my son.
- "Perhaps a more startling discovery than the rat was a bright green pit viper scientists spotted slithering through the rafters of a restaurant in Khao Yai National Park in Thailand." Given the recent 47 out of 100 health score for my favorite Asian restaurant in Bowling Green, this is troubling.
- "There are cultural obstacles to protecting rare species, too. Many restaurants serve them as food. Restaurants often have rickety bamboo floors that one can look through to see cages filled with exotic animals, Chungyalpa says. The more exotic the animal, the more status it often bestows on the person who consumes it." Can't they just look at a menu?
Thankfully, the McRib and the Fish Filet continues to be made without harming our endangered allies.
- "A rat believed to be extinct for 11 million years, a spider with a foot-long legspan, and a hot pink cyanide-producing "dragon millipede" are among the thousand newly discovered species in the largely unexplored Mekong Delta region" I have no desire in seeing a rat. I have even less desire to see a spider with a "foot-span" half the size of my son.
- "Perhaps a more startling discovery than the rat was a bright green pit viper scientists spotted slithering through the rafters of a restaurant in Khao Yai National Park in Thailand." Given the recent 47 out of 100 health score for my favorite Asian restaurant in Bowling Green, this is troubling.
- "There are cultural obstacles to protecting rare species, too. Many restaurants serve them as food. Restaurants often have rickety bamboo floors that one can look through to see cages filled with exotic animals, Chungyalpa says. The more exotic the animal, the more status it often bestows on the person who consumes it." Can't they just look at a menu?
Thankfully, the McRib and the Fish Filet continues to be made without harming our endangered allies.
Friday, December 19, 2008
The Price is Wrong 4:53 PM
I mastered the art of faking a fever in order to hear "Come on down!" and see the sucker-stick-thin microphone of Bob Barker. One of my life goals was to get on the Price is Right. Having seen the amount of passion and excitement Drew Carey responds to a record-breaking Showcase Showdown, I will instead aim for Jeopardy. Raise your game, Drew.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Robe-Man-Tic 6:40 PM
As I sit on my living floor typing this particular blog entry, I am enjoying sipping a mug of hot chocolate sitting in my terry-cloth robe. Despite what others may tell you, wearing a robe in no way denigrates your manhood. In fact, wearing a robe puts you in good company, including:
Jesus, the Son of God, the Savior, the model of life (it would stand to reason that since Jesus wore a robe, God also wears a robe. Also, if Jesus was wearing a robe when he left, will he be wearing one when he comes back? Will I get to skip to the front of the line if I am wearing my robe? Won't I have an awesome conversation piece with Jesus upon His return? We can talk brands, materials, how heterosexual it is to wear a robe, etc.)
Paul, the man who spread the news of the Gospel
The Disciples
The Prophets
Kings (including Kind David, and King Solomon - the wisest man who ever lived wears robes!)
Various monks, priests, philosophers, and intellectuals
Further, donning a robe is often done on special occasions, so wearing a robe allows you to remember and recall the following special occasions:
Graduation / Commencement
Baptism
Finally, robes not only provide comfort, but also convenience. Most robes have pockets to hold books, pens, notebooks, and other intellectual paraphernalia. Gym shorts and t-shirts do not allow for carrying any of these things comfortably.
Thus, robe wearing has a celebrated and manly history.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
27 at 27 10:15 PM
Twenty-seven years ago, my parents met my slippery-naked self and were amazed at how giant my ears looked next to my head. My ears have continued to grow at an exponential rate. Here are 27 other things I have learned about myself and life in general.
1. You can always do it better. If you had more time, more energy, or saw more colors. Perfectionism can kill you because it paralyzes your ability to accept and perform the good.
2. Write stuff down. You will forget the great idea, great illustration, or God-insight that you just had. Carry a pen with you at all times (pilot G-2 07) and a piece of paper (or a moleskine).
3. Find a worthy mentor. Ask lots of questions.
4. Don’t use the bathroom on public toilets. That is gross. (Side note: There is nothing worse than a cold toilet seat.)
5. The first 8 months of parenthood are the most difficult of your life…so far.
6. Don’t overuse words – it makes them less powerful. The only word that maintains its power is “love”.
7. The Gospel of Luke is my favorite book of the Bible. I believe Luke when he says he researched it thoroughly – that sits well with me.
8. You mimic the people around you, whether you mean to or not.
9. Everything I do (talk on the cell phone, flip the remote, eat a steak, raspberry bellies), Stockton attempts to do until he does it.
10. I like popsicles – the kind in the plastic sleeve. Crunch up the popsicle and drink the juicy deliciousness.
11. Your Facebook status is not the place to write emo poetry / song lyrics.
12. Find a wife who will be honest to you. It may be difficult when she tells you that you look like crap – but you will feel better when you change into wife-approved outfit.
13. My dad can fix anything and use the words sprocket and wingnut in proper context. Sadly, I cannot.
14. If the church expects to be relevant, then it must speak God’s truth to the minimum wage, your retirement fund, 3rd period Spanish, and the 15 items or less checkout lane at Wal-Mart. What does God have to say to that person who haggles for free fries at McDonald’s because his order took so long?
15. Classic books are called “classic” for a reason. They are the ones that haunt you – not in the Stephen King way – and make you think.
16. Black jellybeans are made by Satan.
17. Nothing makes me angrier than people who say, “he’s white” because a person can’t dance or “he’s black” because a person can dunk. Why are these things ok to say?
18. No one ever says, “Hey! Remember that time you stayed home and played Madden and watched YouTube by yourself!” I’m not saying its not necessary (because it is, Dana) just saying no one ever gets excited about it.
19. If you get cold while you sleep, you should marry someone who gets hot while they sleep. That way, the covers they toss off go onto you.
20. Everyone should have a little boy with a gummy grin.
21. Having someone to always scratch your back: one of the best parts of being married.
22. Barbecue sauce makes everything more delicious.
23. I have difficulty accepting marketing people in ministry positions. Marketing is about spinning lies into truth – ministry is about separating the two. (with a hat tip)
24. Men who wear bathrobes are not gay. They simply enjoy being warm and comfortable.
25. Belly laughs and good art are necessary for a good life – and are to be enjoyed with friends.
26. Most things happen on a continuum. Stockton didn’t just flip a switch one day and start talking / walking / laughing – these things slowly evolved over time, from the prone-position lunge, to the army crawl, to the four legged crawl, to the tentative step, to the confident step. People, relationships, and faith are the same way – things develop on a continuum, not binary switches that have two, and only two, positions.
27. The internet is awesome (Wikipedia, Facebook, YouTube, Blogs, etc.) but runs the risk of demeaning complex issues into a two-minute (or two-second) sound byte. I have found myself NOT watching a YouTube video because you had to wait over three minutes to get to the funny part.
28. (bonus fact!) “Fragment consider revising” would be a great title for a blog or a book.
29. (extra bonus fact!) No one reads blogs that are this long. (see number 27) Thanks, quality reader, for making it this far.
1. You can always do it better. If you had more time, more energy, or saw more colors. Perfectionism can kill you because it paralyzes your ability to accept and perform the good.
2. Write stuff down. You will forget the great idea, great illustration, or God-insight that you just had. Carry a pen with you at all times (pilot G-2 07) and a piece of paper (or a moleskine).
3. Find a worthy mentor. Ask lots of questions.
4. Don’t use the bathroom on public toilets. That is gross. (Side note: There is nothing worse than a cold toilet seat.)
5. The first 8 months of parenthood are the most difficult of your life…so far.
6. Don’t overuse words – it makes them less powerful. The only word that maintains its power is “love”.
7. The Gospel of Luke is my favorite book of the Bible. I believe Luke when he says he researched it thoroughly – that sits well with me.
8. You mimic the people around you, whether you mean to or not.
9. Everything I do (talk on the cell phone, flip the remote, eat a steak, raspberry bellies), Stockton attempts to do until he does it.
10. I like popsicles – the kind in the plastic sleeve. Crunch up the popsicle and drink the juicy deliciousness.
11. Your Facebook status is not the place to write emo poetry / song lyrics.
12. Find a wife who will be honest to you. It may be difficult when she tells you that you look like crap – but you will feel better when you change into wife-approved outfit.
13. My dad can fix anything and use the words sprocket and wingnut in proper context. Sadly, I cannot.
14. If the church expects to be relevant, then it must speak God’s truth to the minimum wage, your retirement fund, 3rd period Spanish, and the 15 items or less checkout lane at Wal-Mart. What does God have to say to that person who haggles for free fries at McDonald’s because his order took so long?
15. Classic books are called “classic” for a reason. They are the ones that haunt you – not in the Stephen King way – and make you think.
16. Black jellybeans are made by Satan.
17. Nothing makes me angrier than people who say, “he’s white” because a person can’t dance or “he’s black” because a person can dunk. Why are these things ok to say?
18. No one ever says, “Hey! Remember that time you stayed home and played Madden and watched YouTube by yourself!” I’m not saying its not necessary (because it is, Dana) just saying no one ever gets excited about it.
19. If you get cold while you sleep, you should marry someone who gets hot while they sleep. That way, the covers they toss off go onto you.
20. Everyone should have a little boy with a gummy grin.
21. Having someone to always scratch your back: one of the best parts of being married.
22. Barbecue sauce makes everything more delicious.
23. I have difficulty accepting marketing people in ministry positions. Marketing is about spinning lies into truth – ministry is about separating the two. (with a hat tip)
24. Men who wear bathrobes are not gay. They simply enjoy being warm and comfortable.
25. Belly laughs and good art are necessary for a good life – and are to be enjoyed with friends.
26. Most things happen on a continuum. Stockton didn’t just flip a switch one day and start talking / walking / laughing – these things slowly evolved over time, from the prone-position lunge, to the army crawl, to the four legged crawl, to the tentative step, to the confident step. People, relationships, and faith are the same way – things develop on a continuum, not binary switches that have two, and only two, positions.
27. The internet is awesome (Wikipedia, Facebook, YouTube, Blogs, etc.) but runs the risk of demeaning complex issues into a two-minute (or two-second) sound byte. I have found myself NOT watching a YouTube video because you had to wait over three minutes to get to the funny part.
28. (bonus fact!) “Fragment consider revising” would be a great title for a blog or a book.
29. (extra bonus fact!) No one reads blogs that are this long. (see number 27) Thanks, quality reader, for making it this far.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Leadership 2:54 PM
Read this quote a while back, and it has been bouncing around my head ever since - especially as to how it pertains to the moving target of student ministry and ministry in general.
"Success is giving the people what they want. Leadership is giving the people what they need."
"Success is giving the people what they want. Leadership is giving the people what they need."
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Straight outta Compton..er... Retirement Village, Florida 2:07 PM
I love it when generations come together. Stick around for highlight at 4:10.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Where there is no vision... 10:06 AM
The "Big Three" automakers are already in President-Elect Obama's ear banking on another bailout. While one can point to the inability and unwillingness of the auto industries to invest in cheaper, more fuel efficient cars as the prime example of the automaker's problems, going unnoticed is the incredible amount GM alone spends on health care for its employees, both current and past.
From this article in the New York Times.
In fact, paying the cost of hospital stays, surgeries and expensive drugs for retirees, a group now larger than G.M.’s active work force, is a major reason the company’s financial woes are so great. G.M. says it spent $4.6 billion in 2007 on health care for its one million employees and retirees and their dependents.
To save money, GM is eliminating the health care benefits of retirees, many of which will end up on Medicare.
The problems are legion. The cost of health care, the problematic approach to letting employers provide health care, but most importantly is the inability of General Motors leadership to vision for the future or even manage a budget. I am certainly nervous about any collapse of the big three automakers, but if a bailout is necessary, let us put major stipulations (like investments in fuel economy and alternative energy instead of lobbyists and public relations) on it.
From this article in the New York Times.
In fact, paying the cost of hospital stays, surgeries and expensive drugs for retirees, a group now larger than G.M.’s active work force, is a major reason the company’s financial woes are so great. G.M. says it spent $4.6 billion in 2007 on health care for its one million employees and retirees and their dependents.
To save money, GM is eliminating the health care benefits of retirees, many of which will end up on Medicare.
The problems are legion. The cost of health care, the problematic approach to letting employers provide health care, but most importantly is the inability of General Motors leadership to vision for the future or even manage a budget. I am certainly nervous about any collapse of the big three automakers, but if a bailout is necessary, let us put major stipulations (like investments in fuel economy and alternative energy instead of lobbyists and public relations) on it.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
NBA = JOB? 12:53 PM
I have been conflicted in my support for professional sports in general lately, given that people are losing jobs at an alarming rate while we pay people exorbitant amounts of money to catch and throw balls. An NBA franchise, however, is doing something about the receding economy, by not only offering fans free tickets, but also access to a career fair and a job bank for merely submitting an application.
From the article: "Unemployed fans who submit resumes to the Nets Job Bank will receive up to four free tickets, plus access to a career fair at the Izod Center on Nov. 22, Nets team president and chief executive Brett Yormark announced Tuesday."
Good to see a professional sports franchise investing in a local economy beyond "civic pride." In an era where taxpayers foot the bill for billion dollar stadiums and arenas they will never enjoy to the fullest, it is refreshing to see a franchise with a sense of civic responsibility.
Go Nets!
From the article: "Unemployed fans who submit resumes to the Nets Job Bank will receive up to four free tickets, plus access to a career fair at the Izod Center on Nov. 22, Nets team president and chief executive Brett Yormark announced Tuesday."
Good to see a professional sports franchise investing in a local economy beyond "civic pride." In an era where taxpayers foot the bill for billion dollar stadiums and arenas they will never enjoy to the fullest, it is refreshing to see a franchise with a sense of civic responsibility.
Go Nets!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Treasure in Heaven 1:34 PM
...but student loans due on earth. Thus, Threat Level Midnight will now feature clickable ads. Don't worry, they will be free of fornication promoting advertisement, but they will be (supposedly) coordinated with whatever I write about. (Yikes.)
To borrow a line from my friend, don't judge me.
To borrow a line from my friend, don't judge me.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The 80s Win Again 11:20 PM
As one candidate has put it,today provides for a choice between the past and the future. Unfortunately, despite lots of quality discussion (http://jasontbrown.blogspot.com/2008/08/whats-in-name.html) Bowling Green has named their baseball team in the distinctive past, notably with a distinctive 80s flair. Not the Cave Shrimp, or the Cake Batters...put your hands together (or rev your engines...meh) for the Bowling Green Hot Rods.
The logo is seizure-inducing busy - with baseball hubcaps, stitched up wordmark, motion lines on the base paths (on a logo which is not a diamond), and a burnt orange car spewing flames. No simple elegance here - just heaped on design elements like a five-year-olds Lego creation. I count four colors - but there might be more. I am not the best person to go to for colors.
Give me the Cake Batters (or just the Batters) and a little chef with a whisk for a bat. Give me the Cave Shrimp, and a little squinty shrimp looking for a pitch. Anything but this busier than any road in Bowling Green logo.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Lectionary Leaning 3:23 PM
"Screw the lectionary."
These exact words came out of my college sophomore mouth not long before I preached for the very first time, and exactly .12 seconds after a friend had suggested we consult the lectionary before striking out our own theme for College Worship Sunday. The lectionary was lazy and did not allow for the preacher to adequately convey the message God laid on his or her heart.
The older / wiser me is now moving in a different direction. In a world where students, and people in general, are increasingly biblically and story of God illiterate, I find myself drawn near to the wisdom and foundational nature of the lectionary. I am considering drastically reducing the number of "thematic" sermons I do (if not eliminating them altogether) and moving to lectionary for the majority of the jr. high Sunday night curriculum.
A couple of thoughts:
- the lectionary walks the congregation through the entire Bible in 3 years, how many people, students or otherwise, can say they have done that? The three year window, incidentally, fits perfectly with the three years of junior high.
- moving to the lectionary is a humbling experience for me - the planner and creator of many a high quality thematic series. I am sure, however, that scripture will speak more powerfully than my latest Bob-Barker themed creation.
- preaching the lectionary keeps me (or anybody else) from finding a couple "home" passages and always heading back to them. I always seem to find my way back to Romans 12 and Galatians 2:19 20 ;).
Let me know what you think.
These exact words came out of my college sophomore mouth not long before I preached for the very first time, and exactly .12 seconds after a friend had suggested we consult the lectionary before striking out our own theme for College Worship Sunday. The lectionary was lazy and did not allow for the preacher to adequately convey the message God laid on his or her heart.
The older / wiser me is now moving in a different direction. In a world where students, and people in general, are increasingly biblically and story of God illiterate, I find myself drawn near to the wisdom and foundational nature of the lectionary. I am considering drastically reducing the number of "thematic" sermons I do (if not eliminating them altogether) and moving to lectionary for the majority of the jr. high Sunday night curriculum.
A couple of thoughts:
- the lectionary walks the congregation through the entire Bible in 3 years, how many people, students or otherwise, can say they have done that? The three year window, incidentally, fits perfectly with the three years of junior high.
- moving to the lectionary is a humbling experience for me - the planner and creator of many a high quality thematic series. I am sure, however, that scripture will speak more powerfully than my latest Bob-Barker themed creation.
- preaching the lectionary keeps me (or anybody else) from finding a couple "home" passages and always heading back to them. I always seem to find my way back to Romans 12 and Galatians 2:19 20 ;).
Let me know what you think.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Yes 1:54 PM
Let's not be cliche. If ministry is real, it is a demanding. I recently read that doctors performing the autopsy on 38-year-old Martin Luther King, Jr. discovered the heart of a 70-year-old man. Often in ministry, (or maybe because of all the Filet O' Fishes I have eaten) my heart feels much older than my age (and especially how old I look). To quote my rabbi, I feel the millstone.
But today...today was pretzel day - and the sugary goodness of a shared "aha!" (or Aja) moment proves the power of scripture and the Triune God it points to.
After a brief outline of epistles and Paul, I had my ten students read the first ten verses of Galatians, and asked them to break it down for me. What was the problem that Paul was trying to address? Here are their answers:
- People making the gospel something it is not
- People not listening to / ignoring the Holy Spirit
No "Adventurer's Bible" outline, no clever words from their youth minister, no slick DVD graphics, no fill-in-the-blank-seek-and-find, just students encountering the living Word. Here's the beautiful part:
Jr. High Student: "When was this written?! These are problems now!"
Smile. Let it sink in.
We went on to talk about how, despite mastering the bells and whistles of the 21stcentury, human beings are still human beings - and as such - the timeless words of scripture are as poignant and powerful as when they were first penned.
But today...today was pretzel day - and the sugary goodness of a shared "aha!" (or Aja) moment proves the power of scripture and the Triune God it points to.
After a brief outline of epistles and Paul, I had my ten students read the first ten verses of Galatians, and asked them to break it down for me. What was the problem that Paul was trying to address? Here are their answers:
- People making the gospel something it is not
- People not listening to / ignoring the Holy Spirit
No "Adventurer's Bible" outline, no clever words from their youth minister, no slick DVD graphics, no fill-in-the-blank-seek-and-find, just students encountering the living Word. Here's the beautiful part:
Jr. High Student: "When was this written?! These are problems now!"
Smile. Let it sink in.
We went on to talk about how, despite mastering the bells and whistles of the 21stcentury, human beings are still human beings - and as such - the timeless words of scripture are as poignant and powerful as when they were first penned.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
New School is Old School 12:37 AM
It has been hard to get excited about the upcoming NBA season - economy in the ditch, pending student loan payments, cheering for millionaires while selecting from the dollar menu. Nonetheless, the NBA season is nearly upon us, and my beloved Utah Jazz are picked by at least one (exactly one) analyst to play in the NBA Finals. In preparation for their title run, the Jazz have ditched the 80s color bleed and reintroduced a recolored music note / basketball / "J" logo I fell in love with those years ago.
Check it out.
In.
Out.
Check it out.
In.
Out.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
For the Lexicon 7:48 PM
Idiodyssey - [id-ee-od-uh-see] noun.
- a journey or experience with moronic or unscrupulous persons
- ex. Johnny thought the field trip would be fun, but it turned into another idiodyssey.
- a journey or experience with moronic or unscrupulous persons
- ex. Johnny thought the field trip would be fun, but it turned into another idiodyssey.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Rights and Responsibilities 7:53 PM
Does anyone have difficulty asserting ones rights? This election cycle, both local and nationwide, seems to have people from all edges of the political spectrum screaming about their rights, both real and perceived. The right to kill lung cells while enjoying ribs at BW3s, the right to abort an unborn child, the right to charge exorbitant rates for inadequate housing, and the right to pay as little taxes as possible.
I want to flip the switch. Rather than thinking about life in terms of "rights", let's think about it in terms of responsibilities. What is my responsibility to my fellow human being? My Creator and Redeemer? The next generation? My wife? My child? The students and families that I minister to? The earth?
I can fill up this tiny space with the rhythm of responsibility that hums and beats throughout my life - but I would prefer to recast the whole political system in terms of responsibilities. What responsibility do the local and national candidates have? And more importantly, how do they see themselves fulfilling this responsibility?
what do you think?
I want to flip the switch. Rather than thinking about life in terms of "rights", let's think about it in terms of responsibilities. What is my responsibility to my fellow human being? My Creator and Redeemer? The next generation? My wife? My child? The students and families that I minister to? The earth?
I can fill up this tiny space with the rhythm of responsibility that hums and beats throughout my life - but I would prefer to recast the whole political system in terms of responsibilities. What responsibility do the local and national candidates have? And more importantly, how do they see themselves fulfilling this responsibility?
what do you think?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
My favorite was Michelangelo... 10:32 PM
The reporter that did this interview did a follow-up interview with the turtle-zombie and he seemed like a bright, well-spoken young man. This zombified confession, however, was not his finest hour.
...and I approve this message 9:37 PM
The NBA preseason started this evening, yet my eyes and ears were glued to the presidential debate. Layups (at least preseason) seemed lame in the face of the current economic malaise. The current crisis, combined my current role as baby-daddy instead of three-point bomber, has me feeling quite political. So, grant me this blog in order to outline my preliminary platform.
Limit the length of legislation
The United States Constitution contains 4400 words. No legislation will exceed this
amount of words. If it only takes this amount to create a country, it should take less than that to propose legislation for the country. Verbose legislation leads to missed earmarks that create HAY-UGE burdens for taxpayers - limiting the length of legislation will eliminate the hiding places for ridiculous earmarks. Also, all congressional leaders are required to read all bills proposed.
Withhold pay from Congressional leaders who are not present during congressional business
Congress generally works for less than half of the year (roughly 150 or so days). Despite only working for this brief amount of time, congressmen and congresswomen find time to miss congressional votes (to campaign for another job, for example) while yet collecting a paycheck. I know of no other job where a person, for no good reason, can miss so much time and still expect to collect a paycheck. In fact, throughout history those in congress have worked OTHER jobs besides the House and Senate.
Each year, congressional leaders must present to taxpayers (their employers) a list of failed and passed bills that they proposed or amended
Think of it as a resume. Each year, at my place of employment, I set goals and, at the end of the year, review how I did on those goals. I imagine it is like this at most businesses - why does this accountability not exist at the highest levels of government? I want to see the resume of politicians every year, especially during an election year.
Stop the privatization of profits and the socialization of debt
The most recent update of the economic entropy included the high level executives at AIG held a $440,000 party immediately following the bailout. If the United States (and the taxpayers therein) is going to purchase stock in these failing economic giants, it should be valuable voting shares such that any other investor gets when they buy stock in a company.
A basic four-corner platform I think we can all get with. Vote Brown / Brown on your write-in ballot in 2008. (At this point, I cannot tell you whether Dana will be the VP or the outright pres. Maybe a shadow VP with all the knowledge and know-how?)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Jesus was a Youth Pastor 4:10 PM
For Broadway Student University (think Sunday School, but more intense and more awesome), my students and I have been reading through the gospel of Matthew. After each Matthew-marinated feast, I gain a fuller appreciation for the gospel. Reading it slowly, and with an eye towards framing students' lives with it, has made it come alive in a special way. Specifically, I have discovered that Jesus was a youth pastor, who also dealt with parents.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Matthew 20:20-23
Then the mother of Zebedee's sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him. "What is it you want?" he asked.
She said, "Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom."
"You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said to them. "Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?"
"We can," they answered.
Jesus said to them, "You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And, like a God youth pastor, Jesus refers the suggestion to the senior pastor. ;)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Matthew 20:20-23
Then the mother of Zebedee's sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him. "What is it you want?" he asked.
She said, "Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom."
"You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said to them. "Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?"
"We can," they answered.
Jesus said to them, "You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And, like a God youth pastor, Jesus refers the suggestion to the senior pastor. ;)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Dunning Kruger Effect 4:12 PM
Not unrelated to the previous post...
"Dunning-Kruger effect (dun'-eng kroo'-guhr e-fekt') noun. The phenomenon wherein people who have little knowledge or skill tend to think they know more or have more skill than they do, while simultaneously overlooking or underestimating the knowledge and skills of others.
Usage example: There's this guy in my pickup league who couldn't hit a shot if a genie gave him three wishes and he used all three to do it...but he always chucks it up without conscience. He must be suffering from Dunning-Kruger effect.
Word history: The term is based on a series experiments performed by Justin Kruger and David Dunning, both of Cornell University, the results of which were published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in December 1999. Here's an explanation from the abstract:
People tend to hold overly favorable views of their abilities in many social and intellectual domains. The authors suggest that this overestimation occurs, in part, because people who are unskilled in these domains suffer a dual burden: Not only do these people reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the metacognitive ability to realize it. Across four studies, The authors found that participants scoring in the bottom quartile on tests of humor, grammar, and logic grossly overestimated their test performance and ability. Although their test scores put them in the 12th percentile, they estimated themselves to be in the 62nd. Several analyses linked this miscalibration to deficits in metacognitive skill, or the capacity to distinguish accuracy from error.
Incompetent individuals will be less able than their more competent peers to gain insight into their true level of performance by means of social comparison information. In particular, because of their difficulty recognizing competence in others, incompetent individuals will be unable to use information about the choices and performances of others to form more accurate impressions of their own ability.
Thus, most people think they're better than they really are, but they're too stupid to realize it. And that same stupidity makes it difficult (and sometimes impossible) for them to recognize skills and competence in the non-stupids, which perpetuates their cycle of idiocy and megalomania."
Would anyone like to discuss the implications of this for ministry? ;)
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Sinful Dancing (pt. 2) 6:28 PM
You can't keep a good video down....
Here's the link to "The Renewed Mind" in all its original glory.
http://www.theway.org/Current/Mar07/Mar07Flash4.htm
Here's the link to "The Renewed Mind" in all its original glory.
http://www.theway.org/Current/Mar07/Mar07Flash4.htm
Sinful Dancing 11:23 AM
Some denominations reject dancing as sinful...maybe this is why.
1) When did John Travolta give up Scientology?
2) Dig the guy in the background getting into it.
3) Dig the breakdown.
4) Is that the REAL copyright date? Jesus save us...
Hat tip for this day-making hilarity this way.
UPDATE - It seems the Travolta family was less than impressed that their song and dance was making its way around the internet. So, those of you that got to the party late will just have to imagine the hilarity.
1) When did John Travolta give up Scientology?
2) Dig the guy in the background getting into it.
3) Dig the breakdown.
4) Is that the REAL copyright date? Jesus save us...
Hat tip for this day-making hilarity this way.
UPDATE - It seems the Travolta family was less than impressed that their song and dance was making its way around the internet. So, those of you that got to the party late will just have to imagine the hilarity.
Monday, September 15, 2008
What is Church? 3:12 PM
How much ink has been spilled to attempt to define the church? How do you define the chemistry between lovers? The euphoria of understanding and embrace? Have we considered this - the very nature of the church is undefinable - finding its rhythm in art and poetry?
My favorite painting is "The Dance of Youth" by Pablo Picasso. For me, it is a summary of what church should be. A joyous dance centered on the Triune God.
Sometimes art explains life better than our attempts to quantify it.
I'm hoping you'll catch the rhythm with me.
My favorite painting is "The Dance of Youth" by Pablo Picasso. For me, it is a summary of what church should be. A joyous dance centered on the Triune God.
Sometimes art explains life better than our attempts to quantify it.
I'm hoping you'll catch the rhythm with me.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
What's Love Got To Do With It? 1:58 PM
Faced with imminent danger and destruction of property, some Texans assure Ike that Tina is to be found elsewhere.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Testify!! 7:28 PM
For those of you that have never heard me speak / preach / testify - here is a snapshot from the latest youth group.
Those people in the background are some of my senior high students.
Actually, this came from the "Hero Maker" machine. They have a new "Rockstar maker" - and my Rockstar looked more revivalist preacher than rock star.
Create your own rock star here - and let's rock (or TESTIFY!) together.
Those people in the background are some of my senior high students.
Actually, this came from the "Hero Maker" machine. They have a new "Rockstar maker" - and my Rockstar looked more revivalist preacher than rock star.
Create your own rock star here - and let's rock (or TESTIFY!) together.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Dunning-Kruger Effect 3:52 PM
Not unrelated to the previous post...
"Dunning-Kruger effect (dun'-eng kroo'-guhr e-fekt') noun. The phenomenon wherein people who have little knowledge or skill tend to think they know more or have more skill than they do, while simultaneously overlooking or underestimating the knowledge and skills of others.
Usage example: There's this guy in my pickup league who couldn't hit a shot if a genie gave him three wishes and he used all three to do it...but he always chucks it up without conscience. He must be suffering from Dunning-Kruger effect.
Word history: The term is based on a series experiments performed by Justin Kruger and David Dunning, both of Cornell University, the results of which were published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in December 1999. Here's an explanation from the abstract:
People tend to hold overly favorable views of their abilities in many social and intellectual domains. The authors suggest that this overestimation occurs, in part, because people who are unskilled in these domains suffer a dual burden: Not only do these people reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the metacognitive ability to realize it. Across four studies, The authors found that participants scoring in the bottom quartile on tests of humor, grammar, and logic grossly overestimated their test performance and ability. Although their test scores put them in the 12th percentile, they estimated themselves to be in the 62nd. Several analyses linked this miscalibration to deficits in metacognitive skill, or the capacity to distinguish accuracy from error.
Incompetent individuals will be less able than their more competent peers to gain insight into their true level of performance by means of social comparison information. In particular, because of their difficulty recognizing competence in others, incompetent individuals will be unable to use information about the choices and performances of others to form more accurate impressions of their own ability.
Thus, most people think they're better than they really are, but they're too stupid to realize it. And that same stupidity makes it difficult (and sometimes impossible) for them to recognize skills and competence in the non-stupids, which perpetuates their cycle of idiocy and megalomania."
Would anyone like to discuss the implications of this for ministry? ;)
Commodity to Sell 2:00 PM
1) Breaking this down to its lowest common denominator, this woman is prostituting herself in order to secure funds for graduate school.
2) Publicity stunt or not, her conundrum speaks to a larger societal ill. It is sad that access to education, including graduate school, is becoming more and more limited to those who have funds. In this way that the gap between the rich and the poor continues to widen.
3) Further, it is sad that a capitalistic worldview has so pervaded our culture that everything has some level of commodification (knowledge, assistance, ministry, virgins). Thus, one is measured based on what they have to sell, what they can produce, or what they can deliver.
4) Did you notice the girls with the cross emblazoned on their shirts give voice to their thoughts? "Giving up ones virginity to get money for grad school is a noble reason.."
5) This Bunny Ranch dude is a pimp. (There should not be a positive sense of this term.)
6) She wants to use her virginity to secure funds in order to become a marriage and family therapist. (?!) Take a minute to marinate in the irony of that. (Perhaps my seminary friends and I should begin a drug ring to pay off our sizable seminary debt.)
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Proverbs 31 Woman 1:11 PM
Dana is a proud feminist. This makes for fun discussions when we talk about gender roles. Inevitably, I throw back at her the old "Proverbs 31 Woman" and ask her how many fields she has purchased lately. She laughs (or gives me the Dana-face) and we move on.
As is often the case when you read scripture instead of just parroting what you've heard about it - I discovered that my beautiful bride is a Proverbs 31 woman. Although the hasn't bought any fields, she does not bring her food from afar (she is a "locavore"), and she makes line-item arguments instead of linen garments.
But step back into Proverbs 31 a bit more, and it fits Dana to an absolute "T" (or "D")
Proverbs 31: 8 - 9a
"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute
Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy."
My beautiful wife...worth far more than rubies, diamonds, or Utah Jazz gear.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Montage Mountain 11:46 PM
Behold the beauty of the montage. The slow-motion movements, the quick-cut closeups of pained facial expressions, the Ed Burns effect on a background cityscape, the swelling orchestra strings, and the triumphant horns.
The montage has the rare ability to transform lame into awesome in two minutes or less.
Sometimes when Dana, Stockton, and I are bored at home, I create a montage of my own - from myself (and my own slow-motion movements). Here is the song that I hear in my head...
The montage has the rare ability to transform lame into awesome in two minutes or less.
Sometimes when Dana, Stockton, and I are bored at home, I create a montage of my own - from myself (and my own slow-motion movements). Here is the song that I hear in my head...
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Stocking Up 5:28 PM
Recently, my morning commute consisted of a DJ that disgusted me for the whole day. During a diatribe, the DJ, in comparing the original 1992 USA Basketball "Dream Team" and its more recent reincarnation as the "Redeem Team", dismissed John Stockton as an inferior point guard to Chris Paul, an up-and-comer who just finished his third season in the league.
I nearly pulled over and vomited.
It's not just the guys who get paid to speak in hyperbole who have lost the greatness of John Stockton. My Stockton may choose to eventually go by his middle name, because of the three namesake-understanding / acknowledging responses:
1) Ugh.
2) Dirty.
3) Short shorts.
If you are wondering, the proper three responses would be:
1) Best.
2) point guard.
3) ever.
If you define a point guard based on his ability to initiate his team's offensive attack and disrupt that of the opponents - this is not an argument. Stockton is is first all-time in assists (15,806!) and steals (3,265). Stockton averaged averaged a double-double for his career and had five of the top six assist total seasons in NBA history. For comparison's sake, Steve Nash won back-to-back MVPs averaging FEWER points and FEWER assists in a season than Stockton did over two seasons (88-89 / 89-90)! Over three seasons, Stockton AVERAGES over 17 points and 14 dimes PER GAME.
Although this post is starting to sound like psycho-fan-boy, it should be noted that Stockton turned down more money from other teams to stay in Utah, holds the career record for most games with a single franchise, took less money so Utah could build a contender in 96-97, and negotiated his own contract with a stipulation for his son's hockey team to get ice time in the Jazz arena. Stockton didn't accept endorsements and never sniffed trouble off the court.
Don't confuse Stockton's moxie-filled fighting through and setting screens with Malone's angry elbows. Don't mistake Stockton's tenacity with Malone's pointed toes. And finally, don't confuse the "new" guard as better than Silent John until they are looking down on him from atop the all-time assist list.
Dig those "mountain" jackets.
I nearly pulled over and vomited.
It's not just the guys who get paid to speak in hyperbole who have lost the greatness of John Stockton. My Stockton may choose to eventually go by his middle name, because of the three namesake-understanding / acknowledging responses:
1) Ugh.
2) Dirty.
3) Short shorts.
If you are wondering, the proper three responses would be:
1) Best.
2) point guard.
3) ever.
If you define a point guard based on his ability to initiate his team's offensive attack and disrupt that of the opponents - this is not an argument. Stockton is is first all-time in assists (15,806!) and steals (3,265). Stockton averaged averaged a double-double for his career and had five of the top six assist total seasons in NBA history. For comparison's sake, Steve Nash won back-to-back MVPs averaging FEWER points and FEWER assists in a season than Stockton did over two seasons (88-89 / 89-90)! Over three seasons, Stockton AVERAGES over 17 points and 14 dimes PER GAME.
Although this post is starting to sound like psycho-fan-boy, it should be noted that Stockton turned down more money from other teams to stay in Utah, holds the career record for most games with a single franchise, took less money so Utah could build a contender in 96-97, and negotiated his own contract with a stipulation for his son's hockey team to get ice time in the Jazz arena. Stockton didn't accept endorsements and never sniffed trouble off the court.
Don't confuse Stockton's moxie-filled fighting through and setting screens with Malone's angry elbows. Don't mistake Stockton's tenacity with Malone's pointed toes. And finally, don't confuse the "new" guard as better than Silent John until they are looking down on him from atop the all-time assist list.
Dig those "mountain" jackets.
Friday, August 22, 2008
What's in a Name? 2:26 PM
The ever-expanding metropolis of Bowling Green, Kentucky (known to some as little California or little Texas ;) ) recently announced it will be getting its own single-A baseball team. True to form, the folks bringing baseball to Bowling Green are holding a "Name the Team" contest. It is interesting that most of the names have some local flavor, instead of name that just alliterates with Bowling Green. Here are the finalists:
Bowling Green Speedsters - for Bowling Green's automotive heritage, which is fair, but boring; you can already see the cartoon car with the "speed lines" for the mascot.
Bowling Green Hot Rods - for the local, historical Hot Rod race track and the annual Hot Rod festival held here. Makes me think of something nuclear or the old Transformers movie...
Bowling Green Bluegills - a tenth of a point deduction for the alliteration; "named for the multitude of local residents who fish for Bluegill"; isn't the plural of "bluegill" also "bluegill"? like "bass" or "jazz" or "fish"? I've never heard someone say "I'm fishing for bluegills" but I don't fish.
Bowling Green Turbos - again, the automotive link; meh. makes me think of NBA Live. Maybe when a "turbo" hits a homerun the public address announcer can say, "He's on fire!"
Bowling Green Sparkplugs - "celebrating the city's love of motorsports with a name that minor league baseball is known for"; Not bad. Will they be the "plugs" for short?
Bowling Green Mammoths - One of my favorites. This whole region of Kentucky is above Mammoth Cave, the world's largest cave system. Not sure how you would work a mascot around a cave, but I like it alot.
Bowling Green Cave Shrimp - far and away my favorite. The perfect name for a minor league baseball team that is equal parts local and hilarious. "Cave Shrimp" are endangered albino shrimp that are indigenous to Mammoth Cave.
Bring on the Cave Shrimp!!!
Bowling Green Speedsters - for Bowling Green's automotive heritage, which is fair, but boring; you can already see the cartoon car with the "speed lines" for the mascot.
Bowling Green Hot Rods - for the local, historical Hot Rod race track and the annual Hot Rod festival held here. Makes me think of something nuclear or the old Transformers movie...
Bowling Green Bluegills - a tenth of a point deduction for the alliteration; "named for the multitude of local residents who fish for Bluegill"; isn't the plural of "bluegill" also "bluegill"? like "bass" or "jazz" or "fish"? I've never heard someone say "I'm fishing for bluegills" but I don't fish.
Bowling Green Turbos - again, the automotive link; meh. makes me think of NBA Live. Maybe when a "turbo" hits a homerun the public address announcer can say, "He's on fire!"
Bowling Green Sparkplugs - "celebrating the city's love of motorsports with a name that minor league baseball is known for"; Not bad. Will they be the "plugs" for short?
Bowling Green Mammoths - One of my favorites. This whole region of Kentucky is above Mammoth Cave, the world's largest cave system. Not sure how you would work a mascot around a cave, but I like it alot.
Bowling Green Cave Shrimp - far and away my favorite. The perfect name for a minor league baseball team that is equal parts local and hilarious. "Cave Shrimp" are endangered albino shrimp that are indigenous to Mammoth Cave.
Bring on the Cave Shrimp!!!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Four Ever 6:00 PM
Last Thursday, I celebrated four years of marriage with my lover and my friend, Dana. We visited the exact location of our first encounter and christened it with our favorite college-age food (Mariah's club sandwiches and sweet potatoes), four years of highs and lows, and lots of kisses and laughter. (Not laughter because of the kisses). The first time we met, I remarked about "the hot girl over there", on Thursday, and for the past 1000 Thursdays, I've been able to refer to her as "my beautiful wife".
I have attempted many times to wrap words around Dana, and only succeed in wanting to wrap my arms around her. She is perfect. If she were a television station, she would be CNN, HGTV, the Fashion Network, and Court TV all rolled into one - and I would watch her and only her forever.
She makes the Dana face and grumbles when I call her "wife" but I just smile. There is only one woman in the world that I can call "wife", and I am proud and privileged that she is it.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Worth Less Life 8:36 PM
The Washington Post recently published an article on the EPA's reduction of the value of a human being. According to the "Value of Statistical Life", a life is worth 7.22 million dollars, down from 8.04 million. The figure, according to the article, is used, among other things, to measure whether particular safety measures in products should be taken. If reducing pollution would save 40 lives a year, but would cost more than 288.8 million (40 x 7.22), it would not be worth it to put the pollution-reducing restrictions in place.
I am having some difficulty putting pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) and getting ink around my thoughts. Ringing in my head...
1) "The ninety and the nine" song from the 94-year-old British lady in the Chattanooga nursing home (a loud and off key Luke 15 rendition)
2) Sgt. Slaughter's quote "We all go home or nobody goes home" in G.I. Joe: The Movie
3) the value of life in a culture of war and violence
4) how radically different the economy of the triune God still is today
5) how has this thinking infiltrated our churches?
I am having some difficulty putting pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) and getting ink around my thoughts. Ringing in my head...
1) "The ninety and the nine" song from the 94-year-old British lady in the Chattanooga nursing home (a loud and off key Luke 15 rendition)
2) Sgt. Slaughter's quote "We all go home or nobody goes home" in G.I. Joe: The Movie
3) the value of life in a culture of war and violence
4) how radically different the economy of the triune God still is today
5) how has this thinking infiltrated our churches?
Monday, August 11, 2008
My Dangerous Son 10:13 PM
Yesterday, Stockton went to his first day at Broadway's Early Learning Center. He'll spend two mornings out of the week there with six other nearly one-year-olds. (Five of those six babies are girls - everywhere this boy goes he is surrounded by girls...uh-oh.) Dana provided the teachers with a brief description of Stockton - here is what she wrote under "Favorite Toys and Games"
Favorite Toys and Games: Hide and seek, peek-a-boo, wrestling, patty cake (with hands and feet), this little piggy. Loves to hang upside down, be thrown around, twirled, and anything else dangerous.
My dangerous son, whom I love.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Shady Shopping 8:31 PM
Yesterday, buying all the materials for the upcoming youth Messy Games, I was walking through Wal-Mart with four rolls of colored duct tape, 15 cans of whipped cream, 15 bottles of chocolate syrup, and 8 bottles of baby oil.
Good thing I didn't let my middle school mustache grow out.
Awe-Less 8:26 PM
Watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, where according to Matt Lauer the Chinese have spent 300 million dollars on the production (but that's another post). Unfortunately, Matt Lauer and Bob Costas are unable to go three seconds without explaining to the audience what is happening or some pithy statistic about how many flags they Chinese have sold.
Why can't they trust the audience to appreciate and stand in awe of it for what it us rather than have everything explained to death? It is a tiny gripe, to be sure, but a statement on living in a world where beauty must be explained. And if beauty must be explained, is it really beauty?
Why can't they trust the audience to appreciate and stand in awe of it for what it us rather than have everything explained to death? It is a tiny gripe, to be sure, but a statement on living in a world where beauty must be explained. And if beauty must be explained, is it really beauty?
Monday, August 4, 2008
Death of an Icon 11:51 AM
At midnight last night, an icon in my life passed away. This icon was there through every class at seminary, during the best and the worst of times in life and in ministry. I double-clicked this icon every single day, often several times a day, and connected to the Asbury community and the love and scholarship therein. Today, there is a hole between "My Documents" and "Microsoft Word" where FirstClass used to be.
First Class was a one-stop shop for all things Asbury and where I would immediately go during a lull in the day. Pull up your rocking chair, put in your dentures, bust out your spectacles, squint, and say it with me, "I will miss you First Class. I will miss your easy-to-use interface, and the ability to check the history of sent e-mails."
Sad day.
First Class was a one-stop shop for all things Asbury and where I would immediately go during a lull in the day. Pull up your rocking chair, put in your dentures, bust out your spectacles, squint, and say it with me, "I will miss you First Class. I will miss your easy-to-use interface, and the ability to check the history of sent e-mails."
Sad day.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Pillow Talk 2:35 PM
My wife has an active imagination. Fortunately for me, her overactive imagination often freaks her out by leading her to outrageous scenarios that result in her impending death. For example, last night, while we were going to bed:
(Jason and Dana in bed, bedside table lamps on. Dana reading the first Harry Potter, Jason reading The Greatest Generation)
Jason: Okay, time for bed. (Turns off lamp, puts down book, gets comfortable)
Dana: OK, just let me get to the end. (with about 20-25 pages left)
Jason: You know what happens.
Dana: No, I don't. I intentionally forget.
Jason: Voldemort touches Harry and melts. Voldemort flies away. Quirrell dies.
(pause)
Dana: You ruined it for me! (puts book away, gets comfortable)
(pause)
(house creaks)
Dana: Jason, I'm scared! What if there is a homeless guy in our attic?
Jason: How would he get into the attic?
Dana: What if it's Voldemort coming to get us? I'm scared! I'm scared of Voldemort!
Jason: Voldemort died. And he's not real.
Dana: Put your leg over me so they kill you.
Jason: (unable to stop laughing)
Dana: Tell me a happy story so I can go to sleep....
Is this how other married people talk at night?
(Jason and Dana in bed, bedside table lamps on. Dana reading the first Harry Potter, Jason reading The Greatest Generation)
Jason: Okay, time for bed. (Turns off lamp, puts down book, gets comfortable)
Dana: OK, just let me get to the end. (with about 20-25 pages left)
Jason: You know what happens.
Dana: No, I don't. I intentionally forget.
Jason: Voldemort touches Harry and melts. Voldemort flies away. Quirrell dies.
(pause)
Dana: You ruined it for me! (puts book away, gets comfortable)
(pause)
(house creaks)
Dana: Jason, I'm scared! What if there is a homeless guy in our attic?
Jason: How would he get into the attic?
Dana: What if it's Voldemort coming to get us? I'm scared! I'm scared of Voldemort!
Jason: Voldemort died. And he's not real.
Dana: Put your leg over me so they kill you.
Jason: (unable to stop laughing)
Dana: Tell me a happy story so I can go to sleep....
Is this how other married people talk at night?
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Toy Story 9:10 PM
Today after work, I met Dana and Stockton at Toys R Us. Dana was there getting a gate to keep Stockton from participating in his newest favorite pastime - climbing stairs. I have been waiting to walk through the action figure aisle with my boy, but either he was asleep or we were in too much of a hurry to make it happen until now.
G.I. Joe has been so kind as to re-release all of the old school figures for its 25th anniversary - which put classic Duke, Flint, and Cobra Commander within arm's reach of Stockton, who smiled, snatched up, and sucked on G.I. Joes.
This, my friends, is what we call full circle.
G.I. Joe has been so kind as to re-release all of the old school figures for its 25th anniversary - which put classic Duke, Flint, and Cobra Commander within arm's reach of Stockton, who smiled, snatched up, and sucked on G.I. Joes.
This, my friends, is what we call full circle.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Ugh 4:40 PM
Yesterday, running to Kroger to get a pan to make some extra-delicious Brownies, I was pulling out of my driveway and noticed two cats sprawled in the yard next door. I looked directly at one of them and said, out loud, "*curse word* cats, I wish you would quit running around my neighborhood."
This morning, Dana discovered a large cat turd on the trunk of my car.
Do you think he heard me?
Further proof that cats are the devil.
Monday, July 21, 2008
I like my milk in a mug. 10:05 PM
This evening, Dana reminded me that she didn't like it when I drank out of a mug, rather than the plethora of glasses we have. After nearly four years of marriage, she still did not know I prefer my milk in a mug - something about the handle and the thick porcelain make milk even more delicious. (Real milk - not nasty soy milk. blech) Here are some other things I'm not sure Dana (or anyone else knows) about me.
- I have only purchased one hat in my life. A navy blue Gonzaga hat that was a dual homage to John Stockton and this guy.
- Over the course of my life, I have wanted to earn my living being a veterinarian, a fighter pilot, and a high school English teacher. I kind of wanted to be in the NBA, but knew early on that wasn't going to happen.
- I think black licorice is the devil. There is nothing nastier.
- When I eat Starburst, possibly my favorite candy, I suck on it and let it get soft before chewing it up. My favorite type of candy is gummi though - gummi bears, worms, pterodactyls - whatever.
- I own more Stephen King books than any other author. Not sure I wanted to admit that - but horror aside, he really is a tremendous story teller.
- I am terrified of spiders.
- When I was younger, I was scared a burglar would break into my home through my window - so I made my brother sleep closer to the window so said burglar would kill him. In the process of killing him, I was sure I would wake up, and be able to run.
- I have never owned a pair of Air Jordans. I did rock the Reebok Pumps though. (The best part was letting the air OUT - pssssssssssss)
- I made up a dance called "the flea". And have performed it on several occasions - only for Dana though!
- I think people falling down is, for some reason, ridiculously hilarious. (I really honestly try not to laugh...but I am laughing right now typing this.)
- I am a cover guy when I am sleeping. Even when it is super hot, I need some covers.
- I would rather smell poop than the spray air freshener people use to cover it up.
- I was on the quick recall team in elementary and middle school. I started my forth and fifth grade year. (Bzzzz - Aburndale, Brown.)
- I have only purchased one hat in my life. A navy blue Gonzaga hat that was a dual homage to John Stockton and this guy.
- Over the course of my life, I have wanted to earn my living being a veterinarian, a fighter pilot, and a high school English teacher. I kind of wanted to be in the NBA, but knew early on that wasn't going to happen.
- I think black licorice is the devil. There is nothing nastier.
- When I eat Starburst, possibly my favorite candy, I suck on it and let it get soft before chewing it up. My favorite type of candy is gummi though - gummi bears, worms, pterodactyls - whatever.
- I own more Stephen King books than any other author. Not sure I wanted to admit that - but horror aside, he really is a tremendous story teller.
- I am terrified of spiders.
- When I was younger, I was scared a burglar would break into my home through my window - so I made my brother sleep closer to the window so said burglar would kill him. In the process of killing him, I was sure I would wake up, and be able to run.
- I have never owned a pair of Air Jordans. I did rock the Reebok Pumps though. (The best part was letting the air OUT - pssssssssssss)
- I made up a dance called "the flea". And have performed it on several occasions - only for Dana though!
- I think people falling down is, for some reason, ridiculously hilarious. (I really honestly try not to laugh...but I am laughing right now typing this.)
- I am a cover guy when I am sleeping. Even when it is super hot, I need some covers.
- I would rather smell poop than the spray air freshener people use to cover it up.
- I was on the quick recall team in elementary and middle school. I started my forth and fifth grade year. (Bzzzz - Aburndale, Brown.)
Saturday, July 19, 2008
The Dark Knight (of the soul) 1:41 PM
Has it really been over a month? Yikes. My body and soul is recovering from the nearly 1700 miles of travel in just over a month. I'll get back in the swing of things soon. Below is my impression of The Dark Knight. I've tried to keep it devoid of any spoilers, but still...read at your own risk.
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In the early minutes of The Dark Knight, the film reminds the audience of both its immediate predecessor (Batman Begins) and its four far-removed parents (the good to ghastly previous installments), with a run of the mill encounter between the Scarecrow and a slew of fake "Batman"s. Both villain and pretenders are dispatched as the dark knight himself foreshadows the film. The dismissal of not only the Batman Begins villain (and the films predecessor) and the Batman pretenders (the previous incarnations of of the franchise ranging from 60s camp to 90s pretense) is parlayed beyond spandex-clad superfluity into a noir on the state of homo sapiens.
The Dark Knight isn't about the Joke, the Batman, or Two-Face as much as it is a character study on humanity itself. As Gotham comes more and more unhinged, its citizens, and the drawn-in audience are forced to choose; not between good and evil, but between order, chaos, and the gray area in between. Good and evil become intertwined in a gray descent that only delivers dystopia. When the cameras ultimately cut away, there is no satisfaction, only exhalation and examination.
While all the actors imbue a gritty realism to their respective roles, Heath Ledger's Joker crackles on-screen; equal parts hilarious and homicidal, he has set a new standard for any movie villian - costumed or not. Each encounter with him inches Batman, Gotham, and the audience closer to entropy, yet he is charming enough for you to (horrifyingly!) ignore it, from his first "magic trick" to his final cackling assessment of Batman, and the connection therein. The Joke is a lingering kiss with chaos that haunts post theater parking lot.
The Dark Knight fleshes out a number of themes in the space between rotting white face paint and black "titanium weave" suits. Amidst the explosions and new "bat gadgets", an in-depth discussion on the nature of human beings is played out, with the audience standing with Harvey Dent and Gotham on the precipice of chaos-caused madness. Are people "good" or merely controlled? Does Batman exist to protect the public, or does his very existence threaten to exterminate them? Ultimately, is faith in the better part of people fabricated by false ideals or do all of us live between the bat-signal and self-induced scars? One could argue that the ones who play by the rules are those who are ultimately harmed the most.
I am not sure that I have ever seen a finer film. More than anything, it is a violent, visceral journey to the center of Gothamites, and by extension, everyone in the plush chairs. The Dark Knight goes beyond dazzling special effects to deliver a gut-checking thesis on humanity itself.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
On the Road Again (Hasha Lama Laygo 2) 10:44 PM
Remind me to tell you how awesome Chattanooga was. Tagliaboschi Tricks, 3-pointers earning street cred, swimmy humidity, how many times someone asked my age (431), an old English lady who threatened to give me and my kids a "whooping", and other high quality hijinks from the 'Nooga will get some Threat Level love. Your prayers were felt and answered.
I would like to tell you some more, but I am quite sleepy.
In the meantime, pray on for the high school crew and for the Spirit to move in St. Louis.
I would like to tell you some more, but I am quite sleepy.
In the meantime, pray on for the high school crew and for the Spirit to move in St. Louis.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Hasha Lama Lego 8:30 PM
I had all of these tremendous ideas for a blog, seriously I did, but unfortunately, I have run out of time. Tomorrow, I am leaving for the choo-choo of Chattanooga with 11 high quality junior high students. We will be doing some light construction, working with children in the downtown area, and hopefully, catching and embracing the Triune God.
If you think about it, please pray for us. But don't just pray for safe travel and all that Sunday school jazz...pray that the fullness of Father's love finds us and forms us into the group of children he would have us be.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
First Feast 9:07 PM
I know there is probably some blurb in the blogger book against too much baby boy brogging. Stockton, however, hasn't gotten enough Threat Level love.
Recently, we introduced six month old Stockton to solid food. It is basically a rice cereal mixed with milk, and has the consistency of oatmeal. It certainly didn't look like it was on Zaxby's Club level of delicious, but the baby boy tore into it like it had a side of crinkle-cut fries. This gets filed under "s" - for "show future girlfriend."
Recently, we introduced six month old Stockton to solid food. It is basically a rice cereal mixed with milk, and has the consistency of oatmeal. It certainly didn't look like it was on Zaxby's Club level of delicious, but the baby boy tore into it like it had a side of crinkle-cut fries. This gets filed under "s" - for "show future girlfriend."
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
A Word From My Baby Boy 1:53 AM
No one told me that fatherhood would be hilarious; that my son would be so adept at making me laugh at and love on him. Here's the roly-poly-baby-boy telling his beautiful mom and I something hilarious. Next time we make a video, we'll be sure to turn more lights on :).
Monday, May 19, 2008
Why I am NOT voting for Barack Obama 7:46 PM
In order to have polite conversation, there are two general rules to follow. First, do not talk about religion. Second, do not talk about politics. Unfortunately, 1605B North Mill Court includes a minister and a political organizer. Thus, 75% of conversations revolve around the aforementioned impolite discourse. (In case you are wondering, the other portion of conversation belongs to Stockton (20% and growing) and the Utah Jazz (5%)) With the Kentucky Democratic Primary coming up tomorrow, our living room has resounded with the responsibilities of citzenry and the merits of Barack and Hillary.
As you can imagine, the independent woman (throw your hands up at me!) Dana was previously enamored with Hillary Clinton, especially after reading her autobiography. More recently, She-Ra has gravitated towards Obama, given his background in grassroots organizing, essentially what Dana does now. But after weighing the options, watching the cool YouTube videos, and listening to Barack's sizzle over Hillary's steak, I have come to an important conclusion that distills down to one inconvenient truth.
I will not be voting for Barack Obama tomorrow. The reason is simple.
Barack Obama found time to campaign in virtually every state that mattered (Florida and Michigan did not)up to this point. Obama found time, in the middle of a busy congressional season to visit California, New Hampshire, and every place in-between. Yet in this season of high stakes, with the nomination virtually decided, Obama outlined Oregon instead of blessing the bluegrass. Hillary, on the other hand, spent yesterday in Bowling Green and put up with an interview from the po-dunk news team.
All other things being equal between Barack and Hillary, Hillary, through her visit yesterday and the implicit affirmation of Kentucky therein, earned my vote.
Call it whatever you wish. Call it little man's disease or some unhealthy hang-up with my home state. But Hillary succeeded where Barack failed in Kentucky. Not in the politics of hope, but in the politics of persons.
As you can imagine, the independent woman (throw your hands up at me!) Dana was previously enamored with Hillary Clinton, especially after reading her autobiography. More recently, She-Ra has gravitated towards Obama, given his background in grassroots organizing, essentially what Dana does now. But after weighing the options, watching the cool YouTube videos, and listening to Barack's sizzle over Hillary's steak, I have come to an important conclusion that distills down to one inconvenient truth.
I will not be voting for Barack Obama tomorrow. The reason is simple.
Barack Obama found time to campaign in virtually every state that mattered (Florida and Michigan did not)up to this point. Obama found time, in the middle of a busy congressional season to visit California, New Hampshire, and every place in-between. Yet in this season of high stakes, with the nomination virtually decided, Obama outlined Oregon instead of blessing the bluegrass. Hillary, on the other hand, spent yesterday in Bowling Green and put up with an interview from the po-dunk news team.
All other things being equal between Barack and Hillary, Hillary, through her visit yesterday and the implicit affirmation of Kentucky therein, earned my vote.
Call it whatever you wish. Call it little man's disease or some unhealthy hang-up with my home state. But Hillary succeeded where Barack failed in Kentucky. Not in the politics of hope, but in the politics of persons.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
An Open Letter to Jesus 2:43 AM
I wrote this a long time ago. Let me know what you think.
An Open Letter to Jesus
Your bride does not shave her legs.
Her armpits sweat and stink
She lies
lies in wait with baited trap
She searches with bloodshot eyes
feasts on bitterness
and swallows whole tears
But your blood painted love for her
Your agony spoke vows
If she was worth Your death
how much more mine now?
An Open Letter to Jesus
Your bride does not shave her legs.
Her armpits sweat and stink
She lies
lies in wait with baited trap
She searches with bloodshot eyes
feasts on bitterness
and swallows whole tears
But your blood painted love for her
Your agony spoke vows
If she was worth Your death
how much more mine now?
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Time Out 5:28 PM
The Bowling Green community is reeling from the untimely death of Corry Tucker, a junior at Bowling Green High School who took his own life. A parent suggested I post what an e-mail that I sent following the tragedy. I know there are websites with much more in-depth information regarding suicide and coping with the aftermath, but here it is anyway.
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Dear Parents and Friends,
By now you, and certainly your son or daughter, have probably heard the tragic news from Bowling Green High School. Sometime between last night and this morning, a junior student took his own life. This may give rise to a series of questions from your son or daughter today or the next couple of days. Please know that the most important thing you can do as a parent or significant adult is provide an outlet for those questions. You don't necessarily have to always the "correct" answer as much as you need to be a presence for them to speak to and receive love from. As they confront their own mortality and process through this suicide, the greatest truth you can convey to them is not found in an encyclopedia but rather in your love, and God's all-surpassing love for them. You may also find the following suicide-coping related links helpful.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/108725/how_to_help_your_teen_deal_with_a_friends.html
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/suicide.html
http://www.teentouch.org/coping_suicide.asp
Your son or daughter may also ask the following questions (with potential starting points):
Did God will this to happen?
God is a loving God whose heart breaks at sin and brokenness, including suicide. Our free will choices sometimes result in brokenness. God did not will this to happen and hurts that it did happen.
Does a person who committed suicide automatically go to hell?
It would be wrong to assume that one wrong decision causes God to overlook a lifetime of correct decisions.
Why did he do this?
We could speculate all day why this young man decided to take his own life. Ultimately, we do not know and in order to respect the privacy of the family, we may not know. That doesn't change the fact that a young man's life was tragically lost today.
Should I have seen warning signs?
While suicide can be something that is premeditated over the course of time, it can also be something that is done spontaneously in a moment of depair or sadness. There may have been warning signs, but looking back and trying to parse out particulars is not helpful. The ultimate question behind this question is, "Is this my fault?". The answer is of course, no.
What should I do if I or one of my friends is having suicidal thoughts?
Ultimately, there is nothing worth taking your life for. God created you in an act of love and desires life for you. If you or a friend are having suicidal thoughts, you should immediately speak to your parents or another significant adult (pastor, teacher, counselor, coach, etc.) Nothing NOTHING is worth killing yourself over, not even the really cute girl.
Praying for you,
jb
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Parents and Friends,
By now you, and certainly your son or daughter, have probably heard the tragic news from Bowling Green High School. Sometime between last night and this morning, a junior student took his own life. This may give rise to a series of questions from your son or daughter today or the next couple of days. Please know that the most important thing you can do as a parent or significant adult is provide an outlet for those questions. You don't necessarily have to always the "correct" answer as much as you need to be a presence for them to speak to and receive love from. As they confront their own mortality and process through this suicide, the greatest truth you can convey to them is not found in an encyclopedia but rather in your love, and God's all-surpassing love for them. You may also find the following suicide-coping related links helpful.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/108725/how_to_help_your_teen_deal_with_a_friends.html
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/suicide.html
http://www.teentouch.org/coping_suicide.asp
Your son or daughter may also ask the following questions (with potential starting points):
Did God will this to happen?
God is a loving God whose heart breaks at sin and brokenness, including suicide. Our free will choices sometimes result in brokenness. God did not will this to happen and hurts that it did happen.
Does a person who committed suicide automatically go to hell?
It would be wrong to assume that one wrong decision causes God to overlook a lifetime of correct decisions.
Why did he do this?
We could speculate all day why this young man decided to take his own life. Ultimately, we do not know and in order to respect the privacy of the family, we may not know. That doesn't change the fact that a young man's life was tragically lost today.
Should I have seen warning signs?
While suicide can be something that is premeditated over the course of time, it can also be something that is done spontaneously in a moment of depair or sadness. There may have been warning signs, but looking back and trying to parse out particulars is not helpful. The ultimate question behind this question is, "Is this my fault?". The answer is of course, no.
What should I do if I or one of my friends is having suicidal thoughts?
Ultimately, there is nothing worth taking your life for. God created you in an act of love and desires life for you. If you or a friend are having suicidal thoughts, you should immediately speak to your parents or another significant adult (pastor, teacher, counselor, coach, etc.) Nothing NOTHING is worth killing yourself over, not even the really cute girl.
Praying for you,
jb
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Call for Creativity 10:15 PM
There are people who read this blog that have more creativity in their left eyelid than I have in my entire body. So let's make some magic happen together...
My ministry team and I are in the process of doing a full scale evaluation of the ministry that we do. Long story short, we do some some spectacular things together and are looking at doing some even more high quality things. Part of that includes giving our weekly gathering a name beyond...wait for it...youth group. So put on your thinking cap (remember that from elementary school? Gold star if you do!) and join me in a blainstorm (blog + brainstorm = blainstorm).
By the way, "180", "Frontline", and "YOOTH GROOP" will not be considered.
"No Video Games for a Whole Weekend" 1:36 PM
Squirmy Stockton continues to grow, move, jump, scoot, slobber, slam, kick, and babble at Dana and I (videos to come). Let's hope we never have to have this conversation...
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Slices of Orange 10:02 PM
Francis Chan, Donald Miller, Chap Clark, and I (and about 4000 other people) spent Monday through Wednesday in Atlanta, Georgia. There, we processed student ministry, culture, post-modernism, the church, and quality graphics attached to all these things. Here are some of the quality quick-hitters of last week. (By the way, my book is on sale in the lobby.) Not sure I necessarily agree with all of these, but these are the words that stoked my imagination.
(paraphrase) “I can take six talented people and start a tremendous church or put together a tremendous worship service. The question is, did the Holy Spirit show up, or did I market that well? Was it the Holy Spirit, or talented people working together?” – Francis Chan
“I’m tired of blackjack Christianity. You know, where we sit around at the same table but we’re so focused on the dealer that we never talk to each other.” – Francis Chan
“Don’t be fooled by the sheen of safety that so many of our parents wear. Don’t think about people in the context that you see them in.” – Chap Clark
“Parents are scared that they have lost the ability to understand the world. This creates a reaction of overt defensiveness, disrespect, and a critique of the world that teenagers are living in.” – Chap Clark
“You can’t raise G rated kids in an R rated world.” - Chap Clark
“If you care, you will suffer.” – Chap Clark
“Who is discipling our kids?” – Chap Clark
“A leader speaks order into the chaos.” – Donald Miller
“If there is no one available to speak to our kids during pivotal moments, they will lose faith.” – Andy Stanley
“If you’re not teachable, you have to learn everything the hard way.” – Andy Stanley
“I don’t want to have a testimony how God healed my marriage; I want to have a good marriage.” – Andy Stanley
“If we don’t keep our families together, we have become part of the problem of culture.” – Andy Stanley
There were a few more, but I will leave it at that for now, lest you get blog fatigue. Let me know what you think. I am particularly struck by Andy Stanley’s words on marriage (middle quote) and Francis Chan’s talented people vs. the Holy spirit dichotomy.
Friday, April 18, 2008
I'm not agreeing with it...I'm just saying...(no jinx, no jinx) 12:57 PM
The 2008 NBA playoffs begin tomorrow. Mine and Stockton's beloved Utah Jazz begin the first round at Houston on Saturday night. While I am an expert on all things Utah Jazz, I am certainly not a playoff prognosticator. Here is on expert predicting what will happen in the NBA playoffs. (Keep in mind this website accurately predicted every game of the Sweet 16, Elite 8, Final Four and Championship of the NCAA tournament.)
Hat tip to whatifsports.com
"Ultimately, the WhatIfSports.com NBA bracket concludes with the Western Conference survivor on top. Utah has the highest chance of winning the tournament at 21.2%. That is not exceptionally high, which is a sign that the playoffs should be great again this year, but the Jazz are the best team in the league. Looking into the numbers, Utah is really good and without an obvious weakness. The Jazz are in the top two in the conference in critical efficiency statistics like field goal percentage, adjusted field goal percentage, field goal percentage margin, rebounding percentage, as well as scoring margin - not to mention third in assist-to-turnover ratio and turnovers forced. With Deron Williams, Ronnie Brewer, Andrei Kirilenko, Carlos Boozer and Mehmet Okur starting and very solid role players like Kyle Korver, Matt Harpring and Paul Millsap coming off the bench, this is an extremely well-crafted team without a redundant player. After the Jazz, four other teams, Boston (12.8%), Phoenix (10.9%), Orlando (10.2%) and Denver (10.0%) are in the double-digit percentages for championship likelihood. The top-seeded Lakers win it all 6.3% of the time, while the defending champion Spurs do it just once every 30 or so times. Every team, including Atlanta, wins the championship at least 0.4% of the time - or at least 40 out of 10,000 tries."
Disclaimer: I am just making this public knowledge. I am not agreeing with it nor bragging about it, and therefore, not incurring the inevitable jinx.
Other disclaimer: This simulation doesn't take into account that God (the whole Mormon thing) and the NBA (Jordan PUSHED OFF!!) hate the Jazz.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
....live in a VAN down by the RIVER 12:43 AM
A church parishioner asked me if I would be willing to be the motivational speaker at her high school's "academic pep really." The purpose of the pep rally is to motivate the students to perform well on upcoming standardized testing despite not receiving grades. Although the students do not receive grades, the school is graded by the students' scores.
rah-rah-sis-boom-bah
do your best so-we-get moolah
For a variety of reasons I had to turn down the engagement. But I am still curious as to what one would say to motivate these students. So here's the question readers, blogging friends, and lurkers (those who visit and read but never comment), what would you say to them?
and I've already got "reach for the stars...at least you land on the moon" so you can't use that.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
You Might be a Student Minister if.... 12:56 AM
You may have been marked by the spin-cycle of student ministry if you can get with any of these.
- your shorts have been weighted down by the weight of 16 cell phones because you nodded in the affirmative when the kids asked "Can you hold this for me?"
- you have carried a tiny bible, an allergy counter-acting epi-pen, a stack of waiver forms, and grill lighter (for the candles later on don't you know!), in a backpack at the same time
- you spend half the summer in either a cabin or on an air mattress
- you've alternately been asked if you can do something about the youth OR if you are a youth (ALL THE TIME! :) )
- while going over your forthcoming message in your head, you had to make sure all hands were clear (as in, not where they shouldn't be)
- the parents think you are too young and the youth think you are too old
- 16 - 18 year olds drive better cars than you (Don't dis my Cavi now...)
- the senior minister has asked you to "come up with some games for the staff retreat"
- you've been asked how far is too far while taking sweet, sumptuous bites from a filet o' fish
- you own more custom made t-shirts (YOUTH MISSION 05
- you have been to a lock-in although you are older than 20 years old
- the custodian has taken you to look at a nice decoration a youth has added to the pew with his pocket knife
- youth has complained to you about parent; parent has complained to you about youth
- your office contains Heroscape, frisbees, a pack of tennis balls, a naked miniature mannequin, basketballs, and 5 articles of clothing left behind (all of these are in my office)
- frosted donettes and milk next to a candlelit cross is one of your all-time highlights
- you get to partner with the highest quality parents and adults and step back and watch tremendous things happen
- you have had the life-changing blessing of watching the Triune God get a hold of a student and completely, utterly, and totally transform him or her into something beautiful and amazing.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
One in Every Class 11:52 PM
In a little under two months, I will be able to stick four fancy letters at the end of my name. Jason Brown, M. Div. Not that the students that I minister to necessarily care about my credentials or that those four letters (only two of which get capitalized) will punch my ticket straight to heaven or my son will love me any more, but if I'm honest, I am a tiny bit stoked. While I am not sure that I am truly a "Master of Divinity", twenty two years in the classroom has made me an expert on the classroom - and the people that you encounter there. Here they are - in no particular order.
1.) Answers other students' questions guy
This is the guy that has all the answers. Go ahead, ask away. Often the answer is just a bit off track. A sample conversation:
Student 1: Dr. Lauer, what do you think Jesus means by "repent" in Matthew?
Student 2: Actually, everyone knows the Greek derivative of "repent" roughly translates to the shooting of an arrow. So, if you think about it, if you shoot an arrow at the target, and it misses, you shoot another arrow, and it hits. The arrow repented because it went a different direction.
Dr. Lauer: Actually no....
Personal Story Person: This is the guy who is jumping out of his pants to tell you about his cousin's-friend's-aunt's-mom's dog who can beat all the other dogs in a race despite only having two legs. Every question or comment, therefore, goes back to ths dog. As in, "Dr. Lauer, wouldn't you say that this dog is an example of why we should protect the environment?"
Off-Topic Answerer This guy runs with Personal Story Person but stays away from personal stuff. Instead, he favors bringing up whatever he is thinking about in hopes of turning the class into his personal sounding board.
Dr. Lauer: What is the meaning of "kingdom of God?"
Off Topic Answerer: Dr. Lauer, if I were to defend a kingdom, do you think I should enlist the help of a dragon, a bear, or just hang up a sign that says "beware of dragoon?"
Tommy-Teacher-Topper I am not only smarter than everyone in this class, I am also more intelligent than the Ph.D, many-published scholar standing in front of the classroom who has studied this particular topic for his entire life. This guy usually runs with...
Whisperer-After-Teacher-Talks Guy WATT Guy has a comment for everything, be it approval, rejection, or just a "That's what she said." Usually, the student who is whispered to does not know WATT Guy or care to participate in "That's what she said" shenanigans, yet WATT Guy doesn't pick up the hint, and continues to sshhhh-shhhh-shhhhh-shhh. WATT Guy is known for leaning over.
There are many more classroom types. They include:
Facebooking Guy (check the status updates - very uncomfortable when you realize you are both on at the same time)
Solitaire Guy (known for random squished faces as he tries to find the three of diamonds)
Chat / Text / Instant Message Guy (known for spontaneous outbursts of laughter, varmint!)
Take off the shoes in the middle of class guy (This one is just me - I don't know anyone else who does this).
There is one in every class...:)
Have I forgotten anybody?
1.) Answers other students' questions guy
This is the guy that has all the answers. Go ahead, ask away. Often the answer is just a bit off track. A sample conversation:
Student 1: Dr. Lauer, what do you think Jesus means by "repent" in Matthew?
Student 2: Actually, everyone knows the Greek derivative of "repent" roughly translates to the shooting of an arrow. So, if you think about it, if you shoot an arrow at the target, and it misses, you shoot another arrow, and it hits. The arrow repented because it went a different direction.
Dr. Lauer: Actually no....
Personal Story Person: This is the guy who is jumping out of his pants to tell you about his cousin's-friend's-aunt's-mom's dog who can beat all the other dogs in a race despite only having two legs. Every question or comment, therefore, goes back to ths dog. As in, "Dr. Lauer, wouldn't you say that this dog is an example of why we should protect the environment?"
Off-Topic Answerer This guy runs with Personal Story Person but stays away from personal stuff. Instead, he favors bringing up whatever he is thinking about in hopes of turning the class into his personal sounding board.
Dr. Lauer: What is the meaning of "kingdom of God?"
Off Topic Answerer: Dr. Lauer, if I were to defend a kingdom, do you think I should enlist the help of a dragon, a bear, or just hang up a sign that says "beware of dragoon?"
Tommy-Teacher-Topper I am not only smarter than everyone in this class, I am also more intelligent than the Ph.D, many-published scholar standing in front of the classroom who has studied this particular topic for his entire life. This guy usually runs with...
Whisperer-After-Teacher-Talks Guy WATT Guy has a comment for everything, be it approval, rejection, or just a "That's what she said." Usually, the student who is whispered to does not know WATT Guy or care to participate in "That's what she said" shenanigans, yet WATT Guy doesn't pick up the hint, and continues to sshhhh-shhhh-shhhhh-shhh. WATT Guy is known for leaning over.
There are many more classroom types. They include:
Facebooking Guy (check the status updates - very uncomfortable when you realize you are both on at the same time)
Solitaire Guy (known for random squished faces as he tries to find the three of diamonds)
Chat / Text / Instant Message Guy (known for spontaneous outbursts of laughter, varmint!)
Take off the shoes in the middle of class guy (This one is just me - I don't know anyone else who does this).
There is one in every class...:)
Have I forgotten anybody?
Monday, March 31, 2008
When Success Stinks 10:09 PM
Usually when a mid-major any-sport program does well, one of the big boys with big boosters brandishes some benjamins and the coach bolts (even if he has repeatedly professed his love for his alma mater). The horn has barely sounded on WKU's sweet 16 run, and the (Darrin) Horn is headed to South Carolina.
That "whoosh" you heard was all the momentum leaving Bowling Green.
I fully understand the "promotion" from the Sun Belt to the Southeastern Conference, and yet it is a bit difficult to swallow. This marks the 5th successful coach that WKU has lost to a larger program. The question does not lie in the "fairness" of this move - because it is capitalism when it is boiled down, money talks after all - but does the coach owe anything to the university? Coaches preach loyalty and trust, where is the trust here? (Side note: the Utah Jazz have the longest tenured coach in professional sports.)
I know nothing of Horn's relationship with the athletic director or the president, factors which may have or may not have played a role in his departure. Yet there is a palpable sadness in Bowling Green tonight, because Western let one of its own get away.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
He is Risen Indeed! 3:28 PM
Today the teeter-totter tips toward transcendence and transformation
not just of a cave and a stone but
you and me and the whole community
Touch the wounds and see that it is HE
and darkness drowns
in Trinity
On this third day, hopelessness gives way
to a man and a world reborn
and forsaken Friday is silenced
Roll away the rock and let this roar resonate forever...
HE is risen.
(picture grab here)
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Big Red Bomb 4:49 PM
Dana and I celebrated our alma mater's last-second squeaker by losing our minds and waking our sleeping baby.
Dana has been singing the fight song ever since.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Some Brogging 10:09 PM
Hat tip to Lindsay Aja for "brog" (bragging + blogging = brogging).
Four month old Stockton tipped the scales at 17 pounds 7 ounces, which puts him in the heavyweight division (90th percentile for height and weight). Meanwhile, his father still resides in the "Glass Joe" division.
Here's the little heavyweight telling his friend (born a week before the baby boy) a good joke he heard.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Mayday 4:18 PM
There was a time in my life when I couldn't stand church, had no idea what seminary was, and hated the word sermon. Today, I agreed to preach in chapel at Asbury on Thursday, May 1st.
Ascension day, baby. In front of the likes of Ben Witherington, James Hampton, Grandpa Ellsworth, JD Walt, and my boy Dr. David Bauer. By the time it is over, I, like Jesus, may want to disappear.
Yeesh.
Ascension day, baby. In front of the likes of Ben Witherington, James Hampton, Grandpa Ellsworth, JD Walt, and my boy Dr. David Bauer. By the time it is over, I, like Jesus, may want to disappear.
Yeesh.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Baby Stepping Back In 9:37 PM
I have not kicked the bucket...though I have thrown up, spit, and hawked (as in loogies, not birds) into one. I get sick once about every five years - but one illness for each of the past five years put me on my backside for the majority of the past three weeks. A nasty stomach-afraid-to-move-because-i-am-gonna-throw-up virus shut it down for a week. A week later, a large cat (the doctor called it bacterial pneumonia) took up residence in my chest for another eight days. In-between was an awesome six days of confirmation experience that I will tell you about another time. Here, now, is the death toll from the dirty double dozen of days.
- 11 days of work missed
- 16 days sleeping alone on the couch or quarantined in the bedroom
- 7 I'm-not-gonna-make-it Exorcist style projectile flinging
- 2 pairs of paints ruined
- 3 Sunday youth groups shortened, canceled, or modified
- 1 crucifix clutched around the clock
- 72 hours of shortness of breath...laying on the couch
- 4 bottles of medicine sitting on the nightstand next to me at any given time...with crackers
- 19.7 percent of Stockton's life...missed due to illness (3 weeks of 16 total weeks)
- 102.5 degrees; the highest fever I have ever had in my life
- 1 three-week message series completely scrapped
So, I think I'm back. I think I'm better. But I don't want to jinx it.
- 11 days of work missed
- 16 days sleeping alone on the couch or quarantined in the bedroom
- 7 I'm-not-gonna-make-it Exorcist style projectile flinging
- 2 pairs of paints ruined
- 3 Sunday youth groups shortened, canceled, or modified
- 1 crucifix clutched around the clock
- 72 hours of shortness of breath...laying on the couch
- 4 bottles of medicine sitting on the nightstand next to me at any given time...with crackers
- 19.7 percent of Stockton's life...missed due to illness (3 weeks of 16 total weeks)
- 102.5 degrees; the highest fever I have ever had in my life
- 1 three-week message series completely scrapped
So, I think I'm back. I think I'm better. But I don't want to jinx it.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
The Adventures of Stockton Brown 2:44 PM
Capping off a busy week for Mr. Stockton Brown, this morning he attended church for only the second time. During a powerful pause in the sermon, Stockton announced his presence, with a resounding blow on the butt trumpet.
Here's my baby boy, and to hoping you have a had a tremendous week.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
May the Force be with you? 1:30 PM
New Jedi Church Uses the Force; Followers of Lord Vader Not Welcome.
Two UK brothers are founding a Jedi church in Wales that will feature sermons on "the Force," light saber training, guided visualizations, and meditation techniques.
Lifelong "Star Wars" fans, Barney and Daniel Jones--a.k.a. Master Jonba Hehol and Master Morda Hehol--told the BBC they formed a solid grasp of the Jedi "faith" by watching the films "multiple dozens of times."
"We had a knowledge of the Force from that and the teachings of Yoda," Barney said. "We've read the teachings on the internet. Our father is a karate black belt, we used to train with him, which is where we got the martial arts."
Don't expect their vestments to include collars or chasubles. "My brother and I will wear the Jedi robes, the dark brown robes," he said. "The congregation would be in black. Really to bring a sense of unity to the meetings."
Though the church now has only six members--all male, natch--the twentysomething brothers have more than a prayer their flock will multiply: in the 2001 census, almost 400,000 people in the UK declared the Jedi faith as their religion.
Barney and Daniel will require members to remain on the light side of the Force. Spiritual disciples of Darth Vader, the BBC reported, "would be advised they are following the wrong path and could face expulsion."
"Obviously, if someone starts to try and use the good force for greed and power, they are going to bring negative interference into the meetings," Barney explained.
"We cannot have the Force disrupted by negative interference."
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I wonder if they will meet in their parents' basement :). It is of note that these gentleman have sloughed off "mainline" religion and have effectively created their own religion by cherry picking the sayings of Yoda from dozens of viewings Star Wars. I wonder about the American church, and if we have cherry-picked the sayings of Jesus and the Bible in such a way to conform it to a religion that pleases us.
Two UK brothers are founding a Jedi church in Wales that will feature sermons on "the Force," light saber training, guided visualizations, and meditation techniques.
Lifelong "Star Wars" fans, Barney and Daniel Jones--a.k.a. Master Jonba Hehol and Master Morda Hehol--told the BBC they formed a solid grasp of the Jedi "faith" by watching the films "multiple dozens of times."
"We had a knowledge of the Force from that and the teachings of Yoda," Barney said. "We've read the teachings on the internet. Our father is a karate black belt, we used to train with him, which is where we got the martial arts."
Don't expect their vestments to include collars or chasubles. "My brother and I will wear the Jedi robes, the dark brown robes," he said. "The congregation would be in black. Really to bring a sense of unity to the meetings."
Though the church now has only six members--all male, natch--the twentysomething brothers have more than a prayer their flock will multiply: in the 2001 census, almost 400,000 people in the UK declared the Jedi faith as their religion.
Barney and Daniel will require members to remain on the light side of the Force. Spiritual disciples of Darth Vader, the BBC reported, "would be advised they are following the wrong path and could face expulsion."
"Obviously, if someone starts to try and use the good force for greed and power, they are going to bring negative interference into the meetings," Barney explained.
"We cannot have the Force disrupted by negative interference."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I wonder if they will meet in their parents' basement :). It is of note that these gentleman have sloughed off "mainline" religion and have effectively created their own religion by cherry picking the sayings of Yoda from dozens of viewings Star Wars. I wonder about the American church, and if we have cherry-picked the sayings of Jesus and the Bible in such a way to conform it to a religion that pleases us.
