I wrote this a long time ago. Let me know what you think.
An Open Letter to Jesus
Your bride does not shave her legs.
Her armpits sweat and stink
She lies
lies in wait with baited trap
She searches with bloodshot eyes
feasts on bitterness
and swallows whole tears
But your blood painted love for her
Your agony spoke vows
If she was worth Your death
how much more mine now?
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3 comments:
Crucial point for me - "Your agony spoke vows"
I love the image of the bride right from the start and the carelessness she seems to have for her Lover - powerful.
perhaps lengthen it?
This is really good stuff. I am with Jeremiah. "Your agony spoke vows" is an incredible visual. The last grouping would make a great chorus to a song. Keep writing.
Beautiful.
That was really amazing. I'm going to print it out and put it in my journal.
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