My Hero 12:26 PM

The Utah Jazz recently honored their former, now-deceased, owner. John Stockton had this to say.




Nothing earth-shaking or mind-blowing, just good to see and hear my hero again. Looks like he is finally starting to age. I should make my move to stalk...er...see him soon.

Sweet Music 11:34 AM

The first rule of streaks: you don't talk about streaks! At the risk of messing up the mojo, the following presentation is a Utah Jazz work of art. Why do I watch the NBA? Why do I like the Jazz? I submit exhibits "a" and "b".

Thrill-Gotten Gaines 10:01 PM

An un-drafted rookie, signed to a 10-day contract (NBA lingo for "fill-in for our injured better player") puts a nylon nightcap on the Cavaliers / Jazz game. The Jazz have largely been a turn-off this season, but this is worth your four minutes.

King Quote 10:59 PM

In the twilight of their careers (if there ever was such a thing), Stockton and Malone's coming-down-mountain Jazz met the trekking-up-the-hill Sacramento Kings in several epic battles. The comparative color schemes contrasted with the on-court style - chest-passing Stockton against no-looking turnover "White Chocolate" Jason Williams; "Crybaby" (my nickname) Chris Webber vs. Stoic Karl Malone; White and Pasty Greg Ostertag vs. "The Terrorist" (FBI search warning!) Vlade Divac. Divac in particular had mastered drawing the offensive foul and looking like every bad guy in every single 80s military themed movie. "Pack a Day" Divac always looked like he had just wired explosives to a bus and demanded 5 million dollars.

But underneath the permanent five o'clock shadow, Divac is a class act. With regards to never winning a championship (like Stockton and Malone), Divac said this.

"People here [in America] are making a big deal about ring or no ring. I was playing against the Lakers and I remember someone [in the crowd] shouted, 'How many rings you got?' I told him one. He looked at me [funny], so I said, 'I got one in '89 when I got married, I got a ring from my wife.' That's the most important thing."

My next child will still not be named "Vlade."

Joys of the Jazz 8:20 PM

It's about time someone besides me paid attention to the Jazz. It's a shame it had to be done this way...



While I hope to raise Stockton as a Jazz fan, I would very much like to avoid this.

Don't Believe in Twitter 11:51 PM

As it turns out, Twitter KyleKorver is not the real life Kyle Korver. Please disregard the excitement of the previous post.

I feel used.

Palm face.

Believe in Twitter (part 2) 2:32 PM

Here is my exclusive twitterview (twitter interview) with Utah Jazz Shooting Guard Kyle Korver (or someone claiming to be him).


Jason: @KyleKorver - teach me to shoot like you! Who do you like in the tournament?
Kyle Korver: @jasontbrown Memphis
Jason: @KyleKorver when you guys travel on the road, do you have roommates? If so, who do you end up with?
Kyle Korver: @jasontbrown When we do it's usually with Harpring
KyleKorver: I need to starting getting ready for tonight. I will stay on for 5 more minutes.
Jason: @KyleKorver thanks for the impromptu inside access - good luck tonight


(this is as big as I could get the screen capture - sorry)

New School is Old School 12:37 AM

It has been hard to get excited about the upcoming NBA season - economy in the ditch, pending student loan payments, cheering for millionaires while selecting from the dollar menu. Nonetheless, the NBA season is nearly upon us, and my beloved Utah Jazz are picked by at least one (exactly one) analyst to play in the NBA Finals. In preparation for their title run, the Jazz have ditched the 80s color bleed and reintroduced a recolored music note / basketball / "J" logo I fell in love with those years ago.

Check it out.

In.














Out.

Stocking Up 5:28 PM

Recently, my morning commute consisted of a DJ that disgusted me for the whole day. During a diatribe, the DJ, in comparing the original 1992 USA Basketball "Dream Team" and its more recent reincarnation as the "Redeem Team", dismissed John Stockton as an inferior point guard to Chris Paul, an up-and-comer who just finished his third season in the league.

I nearly pulled over and vomited.

It's not just the guys who get paid to speak in hyperbole who have lost the greatness of John Stockton. My Stockton may choose to eventually go by his middle name, because of the three namesake-understanding / acknowledging responses:

1) Ugh.
2) Dirty.
3) Short shorts.

If you are wondering, the proper three responses would be:

1) Best.
2) point guard.
3) ever.

If you define a point guard based on his ability to initiate his team's offensive attack and disrupt that of the opponents - this is not an argument. Stockton is is first all-time in assists (15,806!) and steals (3,265). Stockton averaged averaged a double-double for his career and had five of the top six assist total seasons in NBA history. For comparison's sake, Steve Nash won back-to-back MVPs averaging FEWER points and FEWER assists in a season than Stockton did over two seasons (88-89 / 89-90)! Over three seasons, Stockton AVERAGES over 17 points and 14 dimes PER GAME.

Although this post is starting to sound like psycho-fan-boy, it should be noted that Stockton turned down more money from other teams to stay in Utah, holds the career record for most games with a single franchise, took less money so Utah could build a contender in 96-97, and negotiated his own contract with a stipulation for his son's hockey team to get ice time in the Jazz arena. Stockton didn't accept endorsements and never sniffed trouble off the court.

Don't confuse Stockton's moxie-filled fighting through and setting screens with Malone's angry elbows. Don't mistake Stockton's tenacity with Malone's pointed toes. And finally, don't confuse the "new" guard as better than Silent John until they are looking down on him from atop the all-time assist list.



Dig those "mountain" jackets.

I'm not agreeing with it...I'm just saying...(no jinx, no jinx) 12:57 PM

The 2008 NBA playoffs begin tomorrow. Mine and Stockton's beloved Utah Jazz begin the first round at Houston on Saturday night. While I am an expert on all things Utah Jazz, I am certainly not a playoff prognosticator. Here is on expert predicting what will happen in the NBA playoffs. (Keep in mind this website accurately predicted every game of the Sweet 16, Elite 8, Final Four and Championship of the NCAA tournament.)

Hat tip to whatifsports.com

"Ultimately, the WhatIfSports.com NBA bracket concludes with the Western Conference survivor on top. Utah has the highest chance of winning the tournament at 21.2%. That is not exceptionally high, which is a sign that the playoffs should be great again this year, but the Jazz are the best team in the league. Looking into the numbers, Utah is really good and without an obvious weakness. The Jazz are in the top two in the conference in critical efficiency statistics like field goal percentage, adjusted field goal percentage, field goal percentage margin, rebounding percentage, as well as scoring margin - not to mention third in assist-to-turnover ratio and turnovers forced. With Deron Williams, Ronnie Brewer, Andrei Kirilenko, Carlos Boozer and Mehmet Okur starting and very solid role players like Kyle Korver, Matt Harpring and Paul Millsap coming off the bench, this is an extremely well-crafted team without a redundant player. After the Jazz, four other teams, Boston (12.8%), Phoenix (10.9%), Orlando (10.2%) and Denver (10.0%) are in the double-digit percentages for championship likelihood. The top-seeded Lakers win it all 6.3% of the time, while the defending champion Spurs do it just once every 30 or so times. Every team, including Atlanta, wins the championship at least 0.4% of the time - or at least 40 out of 10,000 tries."

Disclaimer: I am just making this public knowledge. I am not agreeing with it nor bragging about it, and therefore, not incurring the inevitable jinx.

Other disclaimer: This simulation doesn't take into account that God (the whole Mormon thing) and the NBA (Jordan PUSHED OFF!!) hate the Jazz.

It could be worse... 12:54 PM

So I fully acknowledge that I am a ridiculous Utah Jazz fan (who are sitting at a VERY disappointing 18-17 by the way). I own a number of Utah Jazz paraphernalia (including action figures, jerseys, shorts, autographed basketballs, mini-hoops,slippers...and Stockton has some Utah Jazz slippers too), but I will never be this guy.

This guy (and yes he deserves the "that guy" label underwent an hour and a half of inking in the first part of turning his whole head into a New England Patriots replica.

The kid in his arms looks frightened.

And rightfully so.

Moving Day....er....Moving Weekend 11:03 PM

Let me first appologize for the lack of recent updates. I have spent the last couple of days letting the love of my posse percolate as much as possible. (Lame comment alert) What an incredible blessing it has been to live in the Asbury community with so many quality people.

I'm not sure I can string a coherent paragraph together (at least one you want to read), so here's some quick thoughts on moving.

1) Loading the U-Haul truck is life size Tetris. We kept loading and loading and waiting for that long straight line to drop. Luckily, we got it. Who said video games didn't influence you and/or make a positive impact on your life? Everybody say it with me - do, do-do-do, do, do, do, do, do dee, do, do. Lamech, AnneMarie, and Jeremiah sang it with me :)

2) There is a reason the makers of EZ Off (oven cleaner) tell you to wear long gloves. It makes your skin BURN and BUBBLE. And it hurts. Bad.

3) Furnishing the new crib in Target today overheard this conversation:
Big Brother (as mom was walking into the door): Who's that walking the door?
Little Sister: Mommy.
Big Brother: No. That's my mommy. You were abandoned...........You were abandoned.
(if you want to hear it - it's even better!! - call Dana!!)

4) The new crib is very spacious and nice. Very homey. I have a "man bathroom"! Best part? Basketball goal in the back. 8/10 on the first go-round baby.

5) Wierd sleeping in a new place. When does it become "home"?

6) I have killed 304 spiders. Wait. 305.

7) We don't get Fox. Because Fox was the only channel we got consistently in the Bettie, all my shows are on Fox. We do get NBC crystal clear - yeah Office! - but what about American Idol, the People's Court, and most importantly Nanny 911?!

8) After watching my wife clean / work for the past four days, I have come to an important realization. Dana is a robot.

9) Driving the U-Haul is more scary than manly. You can't go fast and every single tractor / truck / tractor-trailer is about to hit you.

10) Sitting in the U-Haul truck at a red light, and one of the Broadway youth sees me and yells "Jason!! Hey!!" Made me smile.

11) Jazz season ended this week. I was sad, but it was offset by the quality of the week and the fact that they got as far as they did.

12) Stuff gets lost easily moving. I have no idea where some of my stuff is. So, I'm going to find stuff.

Be blessed!

I have a new hero... 1:54 PM

When I started this blog, I promised I would limit the amount of Utah Jazz action on it - lest I look like a complete whacko. But what happened last night absolutely cannot be poo-pooed. Derek Fisher, a backup point guard and sometimes starting shooting guard who missed game one of the semifinal series because of an undisclosed personal problem, returns to the lineup and saves the Jazz. Fisher's daughter, who is less than a year old, underwent a combination of surgery and chemotherapy in New York yesterday morning for retinal blastoma, a rare form of cancer with a high mortality rate. After the early morning surgery and five hours of recovery, Fisher flies back to Utah, arrives at the arena late in the 3rd quarter, immediately changes into his uniform and literally goes from the locker room into the game. The reaction of the players and the fans is overwhelming BEFORE Fisher causes an important turnover and then drains a big three point shot in overtime to push the Jazz past the Warriors.

After the game, choking back tears, Fisher reveals his daughter's illness and gives the rest of us words to live by: "This is unbelievable. God is so good....Loyalty is always with my family and my faith first."

The reality is Fisher's greatness was already established long before he became the difference maker in this game -when Fisher decided to sit game one out and miss most of game two to be with his family. It takes a special man to, in the midst of pressure to perform and produce, quietly and firmly choose to embrace ones primary role of husband and father over starter for the in-the-thick-of-the-playoffs Utah Jazz.

Mr. Fisher, you are the man. Not because of your forced turnover or your three, or even the way your presence rallied the team, but because of the choice you made to put your family and your faith first. Here's to hoping I learn from you.

I am not a Mormon. I am not from Utah. 7:26 PM

When the actual question comes varies. Sometimes it's when people see me sporting the shorts (home whites and away blues! - thanks Ebay!) or when they spot the action figures. Since I don't take my action figures to class (most of the time), the question comes when people see my laptop wallpaper.

Regardless of when it comes, it always comes the same way. People sort of scrunch up their face and cock their head and say something to the effect of "the Utah Jazz?! Why the Jazz?"

Let me put some things to rest before we delve into the greatness of the Utah Jazz. I am neither a Mormon, nor am I from Utah. (though I have been there with my super awesome wife who got me INCREDIBLE tickets for Christmas! - yay Jesus!)

I'm not sure exactly when it was - sometime in middle school - but I remember flipping on the TV and watching the beauty of the Jazz. I was instantly hooked, with alot of credit going to the man-made moxie that motored the team.

The Jazz offense is artwork in motion. It is five guys committed to a common cause - each moving with precision and vigor to either get themselves or a teammate open. The Jazz offense is constant cutting and ball movement, with screens and backscreens designed to open up the floor for a layup or an open jumper. DO take your eye off the ball - you'll miss out on how that shooter got so beautifully wide open before draining that pretty j. There are no egos here - everyone is active whether they're pulling the trigger or not.

I could, in this space, deliver to you the playbooks of about 25 of the NBA's 30 teams. Here's a sample:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cleveland: Give the ball to LeBron.

Houston: Give the ball to Tracy McGrady. If Tracy covered, pass to Yao Ming. If double team comes, kick ball to open shooter. Rinse. Repeat as necessary.

Orlando (for Jeremiah): Throw up akward shot. Trust Dwight Howard will rebound and slam home.

Washington (for Dana): Give the ball to Gilbert Arenas. Get out of way.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have way too many papers to write to delve into the theological and life lessons held in the intricacies the Jazz offense. But if you get a chance to put down whatever you're doing tonight, you should definitely set aside some time to appreciate art tonight at 9:00 against the Golden State Warriors on TNT. If you can't do that, check out some quality video capturing and commentary here.



Other stuff: Saw this coming; how ridiculous is this?; this is pretty cool I guess. This band makes me want to be from California.

All the cool kids are doing it... 7:45 PM

Starts are awkward.

I've never been a big fan of the first day of school because you have to stand up, say your name, where your from, and something "revealing" about yourself like your most embarrassing moment (the time I got my pants pulled down in the fifth grade - who says that's too late to be wearing ninja turtle underwear?), your most exciting moment (Utah Jazz vs. Memphis Grizzlies in Utah - though hearing my baby's heartbeat is a close 1A), or something unique or weird about yourself (I'm color blind).

So here's my awkward start, my tepid try at the blogosphere.

I hope this becomes a sort of shared sabbath; an interruption of the daily that is equal parts sacred and hilarious. God is the creator of belly laughs, after all.

I'm looking forward to sharing life with you...