In a little under two months, I will be able to stick four fancy letters at the end of my name. Jason Brown, M. Div. Not that the students that I minister to necessarily care about my credentials or that those four letters (only two of which get capitalized) will punch my ticket straight to heaven or my son will love me any more, but if I'm honest, I am a tiny bit stoked. While I am not sure that I am truly a "Master of Divinity", twenty two years in the classroom has made me an expert on the classroom - and the people that you encounter there. Here they are - in no particular order.
1.) Answers other students' questions guy
This is the guy that has all the answers. Go ahead, ask away. Often the answer is just a bit off track. A sample conversation:
Student 1: Dr. Lauer, what do you think Jesus means by "repent" in Matthew?
Student 2: Actually, everyone knows the Greek derivative of "repent" roughly translates to the shooting of an arrow. So, if you think about it, if you shoot an arrow at the target, and it misses, you shoot another arrow, and it hits. The arrow repented because it went a different direction.
Dr. Lauer: Actually no....
Personal Story Person: This is the guy who is jumping out of his pants to tell you about his cousin's-friend's-aunt's-mom's dog who can beat all the other dogs in a race despite only having two legs. Every question or comment, therefore, goes back to ths dog. As in, "Dr. Lauer, wouldn't you say that this dog is an example of why we should protect the environment?"
Off-Topic Answerer This guy runs with Personal Story Person but stays away from personal stuff. Instead, he favors bringing up whatever he is thinking about in hopes of turning the class into his personal sounding board.
Dr. Lauer: What is the meaning of "kingdom of God?"
Off Topic Answerer: Dr. Lauer, if I were to defend a kingdom, do you think I should enlist the help of a dragon, a bear, or just hang up a sign that says "beware of dragoon?"
Tommy-Teacher-Topper I am not only smarter than everyone in this class, I am also more intelligent than the Ph.D, many-published scholar standing in front of the classroom who has studied this particular topic for his entire life. This guy usually runs with...
Whisperer-After-Teacher-Talks Guy WATT Guy has a comment for everything, be it approval, rejection, or just a "That's what she said." Usually, the student who is whispered to does not know WATT Guy or care to participate in "That's what she said" shenanigans, yet WATT Guy doesn't pick up the hint, and continues to sshhhh-shhhh-shhhhh-shhh. WATT Guy is known for leaning over.
There are many more classroom types. They include:
Facebooking Guy (check the status updates - very uncomfortable when you realize you are both on at the same time)
Solitaire Guy (known for random squished faces as he tries to find the three of diamonds)
Chat / Text / Instant Message Guy (known for spontaneous outbursts of laughter, varmint!)
Take off the shoes in the middle of class guy (This one is just me - I don't know anyone else who does this).
There is one in every class...:)
Have I forgotten anybody?
Showing posts with label class. Show all posts
Showing posts with label class. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Why I like the Jazz...part 2 11:00 AM
During one of my one hundred and twenty three checks for Utah Jazz information during the day yesterday, I discovered that the team had called an impromptu press conference. Teams don't just call press conferences to thank 25-year old dudes for pulling for them. Teams only call press conferences for big deals - major trades, coaches getting hired, fired, or resigning, and all the big moves in-between. This was not a good press conference...
Derek Fisher (Who could forget him?) is being released from his contract in order to move to a city that not only has an NBA team but also has a retinoblastoma specialist to take care of his baby girl. While Fisher's on-the-court production (10 points per game 3 assists per) can be replaced, his off-the-court class cannot.
Fisher is a class dude to put his family before $21 million and the Jazz are a class organization to let a guy potentially go to a rival for nothing. In a world of professional sports where it is so easy to wonder where the good guys are, it is nice to pull for an organization full of them and one in particular.
I'll be a Fish fan no matter where he goes. (unless he goes back to the Lakers...kidding!)
Derek Fisher (Who could forget him?) is being released from his contract in order to move to a city that not only has an NBA team but also has a retinoblastoma specialist to take care of his baby girl. While Fisher's on-the-court production (10 points per game 3 assists per) can be replaced, his off-the-court class cannot.
Fisher is a class dude to put his family before $21 million and the Jazz are a class organization to let a guy potentially go to a rival for nothing. In a world of professional sports where it is so easy to wonder where the good guys are, it is nice to pull for an organization full of them and one in particular.
I'll be a Fish fan no matter where he goes. (unless he goes back to the Lakers...kidding!)
