Death of an Icon 11:51 AM

At midnight last night, an icon in my life passed away. This icon was there through every class at seminary, during the best and the worst of times in life and in ministry. I double-clicked this icon every single day, often several times a day, and connected to the Asbury community and the love and scholarship therein. Today, there is a hole between "My Documents" and "Microsoft Word" where FirstClass used to be.

First Class was a one-stop shop for all things Asbury and where I would immediately go during a lull in the day. Pull up your rocking chair, put in your dentures, bust out your spectacles, squint, and say it with me, "I will miss you First Class. I will miss your easy-to-use interface, and the ability to check the history of sent e-mails."

Sad day.

One in Every Class 11:52 PM

In a little under two months, I will be able to stick four fancy letters at the end of my name. Jason Brown, M. Div. Not that the students that I minister to necessarily care about my credentials or that those four letters (only two of which get capitalized) will punch my ticket straight to heaven or my son will love me any more, but if I'm honest, I am a tiny bit stoked. While I am not sure that I am truly a "Master of Divinity", twenty two years in the classroom has made me an expert on the classroom - and the people that you encounter there. Here they are - in no particular order.

1.) Answers other students' questions guy
This is the guy that has all the answers. Go ahead, ask away. Often the answer is just a bit off track. A sample conversation:

Student 1: Dr. Lauer, what do you think Jesus means by "repent" in Matthew?
Student 2: Actually, everyone knows the Greek derivative of "repent" roughly translates to the shooting of an arrow. So, if you think about it, if you shoot an arrow at the target, and it misses, you shoot another arrow, and it hits. The arrow repented because it went a different direction.
Dr. Lauer: Actually no....


Personal Story Person: This is the guy who is jumping out of his pants to tell you about his cousin's-friend's-aunt's-mom's dog who can beat all the other dogs in a race despite only having two legs. Every question or comment, therefore, goes back to ths dog. As in, "Dr. Lauer, wouldn't you say that this dog is an example of why we should protect the environment?"


Off-Topic Answerer This guy runs with Personal Story Person but stays away from personal stuff. Instead, he favors bringing up whatever he is thinking about in hopes of turning the class into his personal sounding board.

Dr. Lauer: What is the meaning of "kingdom of God?"
Off Topic Answerer: Dr. Lauer, if I were to defend a kingdom, do you think I should enlist the help of a dragon, a bear, or just hang up a sign that says "beware of dragoon?"

Tommy-Teacher-Topper I am not only smarter than everyone in this class, I am also more intelligent than the Ph.D, many-published scholar standing in front of the classroom who has studied this particular topic for his entire life. This guy usually runs with...

Whisperer-After-Teacher-Talks Guy WATT Guy has a comment for everything, be it approval, rejection, or just a "That's what she said." Usually, the student who is whispered to does not know WATT Guy or care to participate in "That's what she said" shenanigans, yet WATT Guy doesn't pick up the hint, and continues to sshhhh-shhhh-shhhhh-shhh. WATT Guy is known for leaning over.

There are many more classroom types. They include:
Facebooking Guy (check the status updates - very uncomfortable when you realize you are both on at the same time)
Solitaire Guy (known for random squished faces as he tries to find the three of diamonds)
Chat / Text / Instant Message Guy (known for spontaneous outbursts of laughter, varmint!)
Take off the shoes in the middle of class guy (This one is just me - I don't know anyone else who does this).

There is one in every class...:)

Have I forgotten anybody?