Worth Breaking the Silence 11:51 AM

HT

The church in America is puzzled. Young adults are leaving in droves. Magazines, books and blogs are wagging the finger of blame to point out who is responsible. Some say it is a failure of youth ministry, some point to church budgets and some nail the blame on outdated, unhip worship services. We parents are shocked that our kids just really aren’t all that into Jesus.

When I look for someone to blame I head into the restroom and look into a mirror. Yupp, there he is. I blame him. That parent looking back at me is where I have to start.

If you’re a parent, I’m might tick you off in this post. But, hear me out. I think that we, as parents are guilty of some things that make it easy for our kids to put faith low on their priority list.

Keys to Making Your Kids Apathetic About Faith

1) Put academic pursuits above faith-building activities. Encourage your child to put everything else aside for academic gain. Afterall, when they are 24 and not interested in faith and following Christ, you’ll still be thrilled that they got an A in pre-calculus, right? Instead of teaching them balance, teach them that all else comes second to academics. Quick … who graduated in the top 5 of your high school class? Unless you were one of them, I bet you have no idea. I don’t.

2) Chase the gold ball first and foremost. Afterall, your child is a star. Drive 400 miles so your child can play hockey but refuse to take them to a home group bible study because it’s 20 minutes away.

2b) Buy into the “select,” “elite,” “premier” titles for leagues that play outside of the school season and take pride in your kid wearing the label. Hey now, he’s an All-Star! No one would pay $1000 for their kid to join, “Bunch-of-kids-paying-to-play Team.” But, “Elite?!?” Boy, howdy! That’s the big time!

2c) Believe the school coach who tells you that your kid won’t play if he doesn’t play in the offseason. The truth is, if your kid really is a star, he could go to Disney for the first week of the season and come back and start for his school team. The determined coach might make him sit a whole game to teach him a lesson. But, trust me, if Julie can shoot the rock for 20 points a game, she’s in the lineup. I remember a stellar soccer athlete who played with my son in high school. Chris missed the entire preseason because of winning a national baseball championship. With no workouts, no double sessions, his first day back with the soccer team, he started and scored two goals. Several hard-working “premier” players sat on the bench and watched him do it. (Chris never played soccer outside the school season but was a perpetual district all-star selection.) The hard reality is, if your kid is not a star, an average of 3 new stars a year will play varsity as freshmen. That means there’s always 12 kids who are the top prospects. Swallow hard and encourage your kid to improve but be careful what you sacrifice to make him a star at little Podunk High here in Maine.

2d) By the way, just because your kid got a letter inviting him to attend a baseball camp in West Virginia does not mean he is being recruited. You’ll know when recruiting happens. Coaches start calling as regularly as telemarketers, they send your kid handwritten notes and they often bypass you to talk to your kid. A letter with a printed label from an athletic department is not recruitment. When a coach shows up to watch your kid play and then talks to you and your kid, that’s recruiting.

3) Teach your kid that the dollar is almighty. I see it all the time. Faith activities fly out the window when students say, “I’d like to, but I have to work.” Parents think jobs teach responsibility when, in reality, most students are merely accumulating wealth to buy the things they want. Our kids learn that faith activities should be put aside for the “responsibility” of holding a job. They will never again get to spend 100% of their paychecks on the stuff they want.

3b) Make them pay outright for faith activities like youth retreats and faith community activities while you support their sports, music, drama and endeavors with checks for camps and “select” groups and expensive equipment. This sends a loud and clear message of what you really want to see them involved in and what you value most. Complain loudly about how expensive a three-day youth event is but then don’t bat an eye when you pay four times that for a three-day sports camp.

4) Refuse to acknowledge that the primary motivating force in kids’ lives is relationship. Connections with others is what drives kids to be involved. It’s the reason that peer pressure is such a big deal in adolescence. Sending kids to bible classes and lectures is almost entirely ineffective apart from relationship and friendships that help them process what they learn. As kids share faith experiences like retreats, mission trips and student ministry fun, they build common bonds with one another that work as a glue to Christian community. In fact, a strong argument can be made that faith is designed to be lived in community with other believers. By doing all you can to keep your kids from experiencing the bonds of love in a Christian community, you help insure that they can easily walk away without feeling like they are missing anything. Kids build friendships with the kids they spend time with.

5) Model apathy in your own life. If following Jesus is only about sitting in a church service once a week and going to meetings, young adults opt out. Teenagers and young adults are looking for things that are worth their time. Authentic, genuine, relevant relationships where people are growing in relationship with Jesus is appealing. Meaningless duty and ritual holds no attraction.

There are no guarantees that your children will follow Christ even if you have a vibrant, purposeful relationship with Him. But, on the other hand, if we, as parents do not do all we can to help our children develop meaningful relationships in Jesus, we miss a major opportunity to lead them and show them the path worth walking.

I want my kids to see that their dad follows Jesus with everything. I want them to know that my greatest hope for them is that they follow Him too.

Mt. 6:33 Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. (The Message)

Pink'd 9:44 PM

There is a uniqueness in youth ministry. The ability to walk the line between adult and youth, to speak with and be heard by both groups. Also, the ability to hold multiple cell phones in your pockets, and remember to return them to their respective owners.

The most unique element of youth ministry? Pranks. Pranks that walk the line between "big enough so you notice" but "small enough so you still love them at the end." After much trash talk, some of my senior high girls have perpetrated the prank to top all pranks - painting some of my office PINK.

They kindly posted the evidence on Facebook.







The bottom picture represents what my desk usually looks like (minus the large purse). My friends were kind enough to put everything back the way it was. They were also kind enough to paint the wall a shade that I struggle with. Thus, the wall looks gray - and therefore great - to me.

Voice in the Wilderness 9:05 PM

I am the voice, calling in the wilderness. I am the voice of love, of reason, of a life connected with God...and sometimes I pop up out of nowhere to share my prophetic guidance.

Lectionary Leaning 3:23 PM

"Screw the lectionary."

These exact words came out of my college sophomore mouth not long before I preached for the very first time, and exactly .12 seconds after a friend had suggested we consult the lectionary before striking out our own theme for College Worship Sunday. The lectionary was lazy and did not allow for the preacher to adequately convey the message God laid on his or her heart.

The older / wiser me is now moving in a different direction. In a world where students, and people in general, are increasingly biblically and story of God illiterate, I find myself drawn near to the wisdom and foundational nature of the lectionary. I am considering drastically reducing the number of "thematic" sermons I do (if not eliminating them altogether) and moving to lectionary for the majority of the jr. high Sunday night curriculum.

A couple of thoughts:
- the lectionary walks the congregation through the entire Bible in 3 years, how many people, students or otherwise, can say they have done that? The three year window, incidentally, fits perfectly with the three years of junior high.
- moving to the lectionary is a humbling experience for me - the planner and creator of many a high quality thematic series. I am sure, however, that scripture will speak more powerfully than my latest Bob-Barker themed creation.
- preaching the lectionary keeps me (or anybody else) from finding a couple "home" passages and always heading back to them. I always seem to find my way back to Romans 12 and Galatians 2:19 20 ;).

Let me know what you think.

Shady Shopping 8:31 PM

Yesterday, buying all the materials for the upcoming youth Messy Games, I was walking through Wal-Mart with four rolls of colored duct tape, 15 cans of whipped cream, 15 bottles of chocolate syrup, and 8 bottles of baby oil.

Good thing I didn't let my middle school mustache grow out.

On the Road Again (Hasha Lama Laygo 2) 10:44 PM

Remind me to tell you how awesome Chattanooga was. Tagliaboschi Tricks, 3-pointers earning street cred, swimmy humidity, how many times someone asked my age (431), an old English lady who threatened to give me and my kids a "whooping", and other high quality hijinks from the 'Nooga will get some Threat Level love. Your prayers were felt and answered.

I would like to tell you some more, but I am quite sleepy.

In the meantime, pray on for the high school crew and for the Spirit to move in St. Louis.

Hasha Lama Lego 8:30 PM

I had all of these tremendous ideas for a blog, seriously I did, but unfortunately, I have run out of time. Tomorrow, I am leaving for the choo-choo of Chattanooga with 11 high quality junior high students. We will be doing some light construction, working with children in the downtown area, and hopefully, catching and embracing the Triune God.

If you think about it, please pray for us. But don't just pray for safe travel and all that Sunday school jazz...pray that the fullness of Father's love finds us and forms us into the group of children he would have us be.

Time Out 5:28 PM

The Bowling Green community is reeling from the untimely death of Corry Tucker, a junior at Bowling Green High School who took his own life. A parent suggested I post what an e-mail that I sent following the tragedy. I know there are websites with much more in-depth information regarding suicide and coping with the aftermath, but here it is anyway.

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Dear Parents and Friends,

By now you, and certainly your son or daughter, have probably heard the tragic news from Bowling Green High School. Sometime between last night and this morning, a junior student took his own life. This may give rise to a series of questions from your son or daughter today or the next couple of days. Please know that the most important thing you can do as a parent or significant adult is provide an outlet for those questions. You don't necessarily have to always the "correct" answer as much as you need to be a presence for them to speak to and receive love from. As they confront their own mortality and process through this suicide, the greatest truth you can convey to them is not found in an encyclopedia but rather in your love, and God's all-surpassing love for them. You may also find the following suicide-coping related links helpful.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/108725/how_to_help_your_teen_deal_with_a_friends.html
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/suicide.html
http://www.teentouch.org/coping_suicide.asp

Your son or daughter may also ask the following questions (with potential starting points):
Did God will this to happen?

God is a loving God whose heart breaks at sin and brokenness, including suicide. Our free will choices sometimes result in brokenness. God did not will this to happen and hurts that it did happen.

Does a person who committed suicide automatically go to hell?

It would be wrong to assume that one wrong decision causes God to overlook a lifetime of correct decisions.

Why did he do this?

We could speculate all day why this young man decided to take his own life. Ultimately, we do not know and in order to respect the privacy of the family, we may not know. That doesn't change the fact that a young man's life was tragically lost today.

Should I have seen warning signs?

While suicide can be something that is premeditated over the course of time, it can also be something that is done spontaneously in a moment of depair or sadness. There may have been warning signs, but looking back and trying to parse out particulars is not helpful. The ultimate question behind this question is, "Is this my fault?". The answer is of course, no.

What should I do if I or one of my friends is having suicidal thoughts?

Ultimately, there is nothing worth taking your life for. God created you in an act of love and desires life for you. If you or a friend are having suicidal thoughts, you should immediately speak to your parents or another significant adult (pastor, teacher, counselor, coach, etc.) Nothing NOTHING is worth killing yourself over, not even the really cute girl.

Praying for you,
jb

Call for Creativity 10:15 PM

There are people who read this blog that have more creativity in their left eyelid than I have in my entire body. So let's make some magic happen together...

My ministry team and I are in the process of doing a full scale evaluation of the ministry that we do. Long story short, we do some some spectacular things together and are looking at doing some even more high quality things. Part of that includes giving our weekly gathering a name beyond...wait for it...youth group. So put on your thinking cap (remember that from elementary school? Gold star if you do!) and join me in a blainstorm (blog + brainstorm = blainstorm).

By the way, "180", "Frontline", and "YOOTH GROOP" will not be considered.

"No Video Games for a Whole Weekend" 1:36 PM

Squirmy Stockton continues to grow, move, jump, scoot, slobber, slam, kick, and babble at Dana and I (videos to come). Let's hope we never have to have this conversation...

Slices of Orange 10:02 PM

Francis Chan, Donald Miller, Chap Clark, and I (and about 4000 other people) spent Monday through Wednesday in Atlanta, Georgia. There, we processed student ministry, culture, post-modernism, the church, and quality graphics attached to all these things. Here are some of the quality quick-hitters of last week. (By the way, my book is on sale in the lobby.) Not sure I necessarily agree with all of these, but these are the words that stoked my imagination.

(paraphrase) “I can take six talented people and start a tremendous church or put together a tremendous worship service. The question is, did the Holy Spirit show up, or did I market that well? Was it the Holy Spirit, or talented people working together?” – Francis Chan

“I’m tired of blackjack Christianity. You know, where we sit around at the same table but we’re so focused on the dealer that we never talk to each other.” – Francis Chan

“Don’t be fooled by the sheen of safety that so many of our parents wear. Don’t think about people in the context that you see them in.” – Chap Clark

“Parents are scared that they have lost the ability to understand the world. This creates a reaction of overt defensiveness, disrespect, and a critique of the world that teenagers are living in.” – Chap Clark

“You can’t raise G rated kids in an R rated world.” - Chap Clark

“If you care, you will suffer.” – Chap Clark

“Who is discipling our kids?” – Chap Clark

“A leader speaks order into the chaos.” – Donald Miller

“If there is no one available to speak to our kids during pivotal moments, they will lose faith.” – Andy Stanley

“If you’re not teachable, you have to learn everything the hard way.” – Andy Stanley

“I don’t want to have a testimony how God healed my marriage; I want to have a good marriage.” – Andy Stanley

“If we don’t keep our families together, we have become part of the problem of culture.” – Andy Stanley

There were a few more, but I will leave it at that for now, lest you get blog fatigue. Let me know what you think. I am particularly struck by Andy Stanley’s words on marriage (middle quote) and Francis Chan’s talented people vs. the Holy spirit dichotomy.

....live in a VAN down by the RIVER 12:43 AM

A church parishioner asked me if I would be willing to be the motivational speaker at her high school's "academic pep really." The purpose of the pep rally is to motivate the students to perform well on upcoming standardized testing despite not receiving grades. Although the students do not receive grades, the school is graded by the students' scores.

rah-rah-sis-boom-bah
do your best so-we-get moolah

For a variety of reasons I had to turn down the engagement. But I am still curious as to what one would say to motivate these students. So here's the question readers, blogging friends, and lurkers (those who visit and read but never comment), what would you say to them?

and I've already got "reach for the stars...at least you land on the moon" so you can't use that.

Adolescents Matter to God (And they must matter to us) 3:57 PM

It has not been a good couple of weeks for role-models. LeBron James, the face of the NBA, was busted for pushing the needle past 100 on the freeway. (No big deal, he shrugged it off). Dwight Howard, a rising star who will soon dominate, and a self-professes devout Christian, confirmed his fatherhood out of wedlock. Is it fair to lump these young men in with the naked-shopping rock-bottom excavating of Brittany Spears, the recently-relapsed Lindsay Lohan, or "papa-don't-preach-cause-I'm-keeping-the-baby Jamie Lynn Spears? Is it fair to ask these young men and women to behave in a way worthy of imitating? Charles Barkley famously affirmed that he was indeed not a role model and Dwayne Wade's most recent advertising blitz implores us not to be him...but be better. Unfortunately, we would do wise to apply these words across the board.
The media is not in the business of making role models, but rather takes it upon itself to zoom in on trainwreck tv, yet the mentor vacuum is made manifest on the local level as well. Teachers are pressured to reach particular performance platforms and coaches love the game and the win more than the participant. Recently, a student could not decide whether to attend the youth retreat or an athletic event. The coach counseled her with this wisdom: "God will be there (at the event) too" and "You can pray...while you play."
I know role models exist, I have them and work with them each and every week. There are tremendous people who are worthy of admiration and replication. How do we, specifically in the church, recapture and reaffirm the importance of role models?
The power of celebrity must be overcome with one-on-one, knee to knee, face to face communication of love and significance. In this way, the immanent God cuts through the romantic distance of celebrity through flesh and blood parents and mentors. Paradoxically, both students' and adults' desire to maintain a particular image not only covers up a yearning for connection but also prevents it. We must overcome our desire to be cool and to maintain our image if we are to overcome the celebrity image. In our concern for our image we abandon our students to the carefully cultivated celebrity image and the commercial and contrived concern therein. Our detachment is devastating.
If we are to be faithful to God and the next generation, we must not only criticize their unacceptable alternatives, but provide a better way. Students matter to God and we must make them matter to us. We must reject the "do as I say, not as I do" attitude and embrace an incarnational ministry that points out places of fallenness as a place where the Triune God works. We must not be afraid to be stupid and love foolishly for the sake of Jesus Christ. As students come to matter to us, love, leadership, and life-sharing flow from the earth of shared relationship. Role models are made of garbage men, manufacturers, golf players, exterminators, and, every now and again, pastors.

Holy Halo? 12:18 PM

The fine line between "relevant" and "Christian" as told by the New York Times.

Thou Shall Not Kill...Except in Video Games

Perhaps more than any "ministry area", youth ministry strives to be on the cutting edge. By getting the kids in the doors with Halo, are we sacrificing content for "community"? Has fellowship become our golden calf?

"Do you go here?" 11:28 AM

At my church, I am in the process of recruiting prayer partners - adults to pray specifically and intentionally for individual youth. (No props for me for this awesome idea - direct all respect this way This morning, I went to a particular class, populated with elderly women, and had perhaps the most hilarious conversation in my life. This will surely work its way into a message one day - but for now it will be confined to the blogosphere. Read the old lady words in an old-lady voice - that makes it even better.


JB: Good morning. My name is Jason Brown, I am the youth minister here at Broadway. First I want to thank you for the chance to come and talk to you about something that I am very excited about in the life of the student ministry -

Elderly Lady 1: Do you go here?

JB: Yes. I am actually the youth minister. I work with 6th through 12th graders.

EL1: Oh, that's a good group.

JB: It is a great group! And that's why I am here to talk to you today - so often in the church we neglect two major gifts from God, prayer and Christian community. With Prayer Partners, we are not only trying to counteract that, but also to connect you in powerful ways with our young people. If you can pray, you can be a prayer partner. All you have to do is say "Dear God, be with Johnny today." and we will get you information about Johnny so you can pray for specific needs in his life.

EL2: Well, what we do here is we (information removed to protect the innocent) and we give all the money to the ELC (Early Learning Center) because they are next - they will replace us.

JB: Yes, but you have so much still to give - that's why I am here today, to ask you about becoming a Prayer Partner.

EL3: Well, we already work with the ELC.

JB: Really? I didn't know that. Well, really, all you do as a prayer partner is pray specifically for one kid.

EL2: I will think about it. I am a bit slow these days and if I don't get something done in the morning, I don't get it done at all.

JB: Oh well, you wouldn't have to do anything beyond pray for the kid. If you wanted to give them a phone call or send them a postcard, we would bless you in that endeavor but all we are really asking you to do is pray for the kid.

EL1: Do you work with the ELC kids?

JB: No ma'am, I work with the 6th - 12th graders.

EL1: Oh that's a group that needs alot of work.

JB: Well, we all need all the prayer we can get. I think I might be making this sound a little bit more complex than it is. Basically, we do all the work and give you a picture of the kid as well as some information about them. Then, you hang it on the fridge or wherever and whenever you see it you just say "Hey God, be with Johnny today."

EL3: I will think about it. I am just so busy. I have alot of grandkids.

EL4: Will there be a communication sheet in the bulletin?

JB: Actually, we can sign you up right now if you want to. I have a sign up sheet and we can get the ball rolling.

ELs1 - 6: Well, I'll think about it.

JB: Are you on crack? How hard is it to pray? (I did not actually say that)

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I am a little bit frustrated, but I understood going in that this group of folks would potentially hear "youth" and shut down. Why do the majority of folks love the kids (birth - 5th grade) and then become psycho about 6th - 12th? Is it because they challenge you? Because they don't blindly accept what you teach? Are they intimidating because they (youth) pretend to have it together and adults feel like they too have to have it together? This is not a slight on my church. Indeed, I imagine this would be a major exception to the norm of recruiting adults to pray for our young people.

What kind of Christian community can we legitimately claim if we are afraid to even pray for each other?

When Dragons Roamed the Earth 12:06 AM

The past few Sunday nights, I have been walking my youth through the biblical narrative and hitting all of the high points - the goal being that when kids hear a scripture or a story they will be able to not only appreciate it but place it in its proper context within God's redemptive activity throughout history. Tonight was "Redemption Initiated through Israel" - dealing specifically with the Old Testament. Here's an actual quote (from a kid who is a great kid who has grown up in church all his life) from our small group discussion.

Me: "If a person came up to you and asked you to summarize the Old Testament, what would you say to them?"
Youth: "I would say that the Old Testament was when dragons roamed the earth and wizards were slain."

He said he was joking, but I am not so sure... :)

Sabbath 8:33 PM

Holy Buckets! For the two of you that haven't entirely given up on this blog - let me attempt to reward your constant checking for updates. It has been a shot-out-of-a-cannon month. You remember those cartoons where the character takes off and leaves part of himself behind...and then it takes off and catches up? I feel like my mind is just now catching up. Let me catch you up.

July 1 - 7 in Wilmore for John Wesley Theology class (work due by July 31st)


July 8 - 14 in Pearlington, MS for Senior High Mission trip (as one of my youth put it - fun, but hot and lots of bugs)

July 15 - Ultrasound with Dana - results have been posted here for like a year now

July 16 - 21 Catch up on all of the work at Broadway that wasn't done the previous week

July 22 - 25 Mission Week in Bowling Green, KY (doing mission work in the community and spending the night in the (little nasty) youth house)

July 26-30 Read all the John Wesley theology that had bene put off until the end of the month.

July 31 - Take John Wesley test and turn it in (Thanks to Kelly for being awesome and turning it in for me!!)

August 1 - Today.
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Now that I have attempted to give you every excuse as to why you have been staring at my baby boy for the past month, let me tell you what has been happening. I am the luckiest dude in the world. You disagree? I will fight you. Here's the deal, I get to see God work in and through amazing young people. In Mississippi, it was not only nappy hot, but there was swimmy humidity. You sweat when you stepped outside. You sweat when you laid down to go to sleep at night. You sweat as soon as you got out of the shower. We were outnumbered by mosquitos 7853 to 1, the food was a little craptastic, but the kids totally macked it. Despite me just complaining just now, the youth did not complain once.

What did I learn? God doesn't need me to have every answer or an exact schedule to work. With willing hearts and an open mind, we found work, met some amazing people and felt the amazing presence of the Holy Spirit. Enjoy these pics.



The group with Miss Josephine. Josephine stayed through Katrina while working in a nursing home. Josephine and her partner were living in this trailer that was a doctor's office that had been left after the storm. The place was heavily damaged. We redid the siding, spackled, sanded, painted, cleaned, and generally helped her and her husband put the house back together.





and we danced a little bit too :)














I'm going for some sabbath rest now. You should pray that it is awesome.

Let Your Life Speak? 11:16 PM

Why can't the FCC fine the Fox network for foul language dropped by Nicole Ritchie? A court ruled that because President Bush and Vice-President Bush can cuss, the precedent (example?) set by them becomes determinative in what is labeled as "indecent."

"The fact that Bush sometimes curses may seem irrelevant, but the "community standard" is one of the most important factors in legally determining indecency. What's good for Dubya, the court ruled, is good for the debutante. And while the ruling immediately applied to "fleeting" profanities, it could have broad implications for the FCC's ability to limit naughty talk on broadcast TV and radio in general."
(source: Time Magazine http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1630538,00.html)

It should be noted that the article seems to be heavily biased against the President.

The degradation of public discourse aside, the notion of the "community standard" stuck me. I have, over and over again, learned that the most effective curriculum is life - shared life within the community of faith. The community is the curriculum. Further, it is by far the most effective curriculum - for good or for ill - that I have ever seen.

You want your children to be a followers of Jesus Christ? Act like one.