27 at 27

Twenty-seven years ago, my parents met my slippery-naked self and were amazed at how giant my ears looked next to my head. My ears have continued to grow at an exponential rate. Here are 27 other things I have learned about myself and life in general.

1. You can always do it better. If you had more time, more energy, or saw more colors. Perfectionism can kill you because it paralyzes your ability to accept and perform the good.
2. Write stuff down. You will forget the great idea, great illustration, or God-insight that you just had. Carry a pen with you at all times (pilot G-2 07) and a piece of paper (or a moleskine).
3. Find a worthy mentor. Ask lots of questions.
4. Don’t use the bathroom on public toilets. That is gross. (Side note: There is nothing worse than a cold toilet seat.)
5. The first 8 months of parenthood are the most difficult of your life…so far.
6. Don’t overuse words – it makes them less powerful. The only word that maintains its power is “love”.
7. The Gospel of Luke is my favorite book of the Bible. I believe Luke when he says he researched it thoroughly – that sits well with me.
8. You mimic the people around you, whether you mean to or not.
9. Everything I do (talk on the cell phone, flip the remote, eat a steak, raspberry bellies), Stockton attempts to do until he does it.
10. I like popsicles – the kind in the plastic sleeve. Crunch up the popsicle and drink the juicy deliciousness.
11. Your Facebook status is not the place to write emo poetry / song lyrics.
12. Find a wife who will be honest to you. It may be difficult when she tells you that you look like crap – but you will feel better when you change into wife-approved outfit.
13. My dad can fix anything and use the words sprocket and wingnut in proper context. Sadly, I cannot.
14. If the church expects to be relevant, then it must speak God’s truth to the minimum wage, your retirement fund, 3rd period Spanish, and the 15 items or less checkout lane at Wal-Mart. What does God have to say to that person who haggles for free fries at McDonald’s because his order took so long?
15. Classic books are called “classic” for a reason. They are the ones that haunt you – not in the Stephen King way – and make you think.
16. Black jellybeans are made by Satan.
17. Nothing makes me angrier than people who say, “he’s white” because a person can’t dance or “he’s black” because a person can dunk. Why are these things ok to say?
18. No one ever says, “Hey! Remember that time you stayed home and played Madden and watched YouTube by yourself!” I’m not saying its not necessary (because it is, Dana) just saying no one ever gets excited about it.
19. If you get cold while you sleep, you should marry someone who gets hot while they sleep. That way, the covers they toss off go onto you.
20. Everyone should have a little boy with a gummy grin.
21. Having someone to always scratch your back: one of the best parts of being married.
22. Barbecue sauce makes everything more delicious.
23. I have difficulty accepting marketing people in ministry positions. Marketing is about spinning lies into truth – ministry is about separating the two. (with a hat tip)
24. Men who wear bathrobes are not gay. They simply enjoy being warm and comfortable.
25. Belly laughs and good art are necessary for a good life – and are to be enjoyed with friends.
26. Most things happen on a continuum. Stockton didn’t just flip a switch one day and start talking / walking / laughing – these things slowly evolved over time, from the prone-position lunge, to the army crawl, to the four legged crawl, to the tentative step, to the confident step. People, relationships, and faith are the same way – things develop on a continuum, not binary switches that have two, and only two, positions.
27. The internet is awesome (Wikipedia, Facebook, YouTube, Blogs, etc.) but runs the risk of demeaning complex issues into a two-minute (or two-second) sound byte. I have found myself NOT watching a YouTube video because you had to wait over three minutes to get to the funny part.
28. (bonus fact!) “Fragment consider revising” would be a great title for a blog or a book.
29. (extra bonus fact!) No one reads blogs that are this long. (see number 27) Thanks, quality reader, for making it this far.