Thursday, May 15, 2008

An Open Letter to Jesus

I wrote this a long time ago. Let me know what you think.

An Open Letter to Jesus

Your bride does not shave her legs.
Her armpits sweat and stink
She lies
lies in wait with baited trap

She searches with bloodshot eyes
feasts on bitterness
and swallows whole tears

But your blood painted love for her
Your agony spoke vows
If she was worth Your death
how much more mine now?

3 comments:

jeremiah said...

Crucial point for me - "Your agony spoke vows"

I love the image of the bride right from the start and the carelessness she seems to have for her Lover - powerful.

perhaps lengthen it?

Louis Tagliaboschi said...

This is really good stuff. I am with Jeremiah. "Your agony spoke vows" is an incredible visual. The last grouping would make a great chorus to a song. Keep writing.

Beautiful.

Jennifer Coomer said...

That was really amazing. I'm going to print it out and put it in my journal.