Time Out

The Bowling Green community is reeling from the untimely death of Corry Tucker, a junior at Bowling Green High School who took his own life. A parent suggested I post what an e-mail that I sent following the tragedy. I know there are websites with much more in-depth information regarding suicide and coping with the aftermath, but here it is anyway.

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Dear Parents and Friends,

By now you, and certainly your son or daughter, have probably heard the tragic news from Bowling Green High School. Sometime between last night and this morning, a junior student took his own life. This may give rise to a series of questions from your son or daughter today or the next couple of days. Please know that the most important thing you can do as a parent or significant adult is provide an outlet for those questions. You don't necessarily have to always the "correct" answer as much as you need to be a presence for them to speak to and receive love from. As they confront their own mortality and process through this suicide, the greatest truth you can convey to them is not found in an encyclopedia but rather in your love, and God's all-surpassing love for them. You may also find the following suicide-coping related links helpful.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/108725/how_to_help_your_teen_deal_with_a_friends.html
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/suicide.html
http://www.teentouch.org/coping_suicide.asp

Your son or daughter may also ask the following questions (with potential starting points):
Did God will this to happen?

God is a loving God whose heart breaks at sin and brokenness, including suicide. Our free will choices sometimes result in brokenness. God did not will this to happen and hurts that it did happen.

Does a person who committed suicide automatically go to hell?

It would be wrong to assume that one wrong decision causes God to overlook a lifetime of correct decisions.

Why did he do this?

We could speculate all day why this young man decided to take his own life. Ultimately, we do not know and in order to respect the privacy of the family, we may not know. That doesn't change the fact that a young man's life was tragically lost today.

Should I have seen warning signs?

While suicide can be something that is premeditated over the course of time, it can also be something that is done spontaneously in a moment of depair or sadness. There may have been warning signs, but looking back and trying to parse out particulars is not helpful. The ultimate question behind this question is, "Is this my fault?". The answer is of course, no.

What should I do if I or one of my friends is having suicidal thoughts?

Ultimately, there is nothing worth taking your life for. God created you in an act of love and desires life for you. If you or a friend are having suicidal thoughts, you should immediately speak to your parents or another significant adult (pastor, teacher, counselor, coach, etc.) Nothing NOTHING is worth killing yourself over, not even the really cute girl.

Praying for you,
jb