Let Us Now Introduce Famous Men (And Women)

Cue the 90s synth pop. Dim the lights. Thump the bass. Blow up the fireworks. And let me introduce you to the starting lineup for the All-Star Qualities, a team of mentors and teachers that have shaped the half-court offense of my life. They have rebounded my errant shots, screened off defenders, and coached me through the fast break of ministerial life. The starting five is limited to a) people older than me b) people who I have a personal relationship with (i.e. outside the classroom) c) people I have known for more than a year. Pull off your snap-on warm-up pants, slide your jersey on, clap and/or do your pregame dance ritual, and click the YouTube tune below. Here are the starters (with scouting report)...





At guard, Tony Akers - (initiates the offense and sets others up for success, not afraid to tell teammates the truth, deadly outside shot (though struggles with H-O-R-S-E at camp), not afraid to take the big shot; maintains peak physical condition through love and nutrition of Debbie Akers)

At the other guard, David Bauer - (sees all the angles on the court and in scripture, anticipates authorial intent and opponents next move; makes crisp scriptural connections and bounce passes; pinpoint accuracy anywhere in the New Testament and the New School of Hoops)

At forward, Coleman Howlett - (the heart and soul of the team; plays and preaches with heart and moxie; plays hard no matter what)

At the other forward, Sandra Richter - (undersized but makes up for it with unparalleled passion; cleans up the glass and cluttered Old Testament theology; tears up lackadaisical defense and Old Testament exegesis)

At center, Jim Hampton - (solid anchor in the middle of chaotic game and youth ministry; responds to layups and weak theology with "Get that outta here!")