"Huge Chunks of Whale Blubber were Everywhere" 5:33 PM

The Adventures of Stockton Brown 2:44 PM

Capping off a busy week for Mr. Stockton Brown, this morning he attended church for only the second time. During a powerful pause in the sermon, Stockton announced his presence, with a resounding blow on the butt trumpet.

Here's my baby boy, and to hoping you have a had a tremendous week.

May the Force be with you? 1:30 PM

New Jedi Church Uses the Force; Followers of Lord Vader Not Welcome.

Two UK brothers are founding a Jedi church in Wales that will feature sermons on "the Force," light saber training, guided visualizations, and meditation techniques.

Lifelong "Star Wars" fans, Barney and Daniel Jones--a.k.a. Master Jonba Hehol and Master Morda Hehol--told the BBC they formed a solid grasp of the Jedi "faith" by watching the films "multiple dozens of times."

"We had a knowledge of the Force from that and the teachings of Yoda," Barney said. "We've read the teachings on the internet. Our father is a karate black belt, we used to train with him, which is where we got the martial arts."

Don't expect their vestments to include collars or chasubles. "My brother and I will wear the Jedi robes, the dark brown robes," he said. "The congregation would be in black. Really to bring a sense of unity to the meetings."

Though the church now has only six members--all male, natch--the twentysomething brothers have more than a prayer their flock will multiply: in the 2001 census, almost 400,000 people in the UK declared the Jedi faith as their religion.

Barney and Daniel will require members to remain on the light side of the Force. Spiritual disciples of Darth Vader, the BBC reported, "would be advised they are following the wrong path and could face expulsion."

"Obviously, if someone starts to try and use the good force for greed and power, they are going to bring negative interference into the meetings," Barney explained.

"We cannot have the Force disrupted by negative interference."
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I wonder if they will meet in their parents' basement :). It is of note that these gentleman have sloughed off "mainline" religion and have effectively created their own religion by cherry picking the sayings of Yoda from dozens of viewings Star Wars. I wonder about the American church, and if we have cherry-picked the sayings of Jesus and the Bible in such a way to conform it to a religion that pleases us.

Adolescents Matter to God (And they must matter to us) 3:57 PM

It has not been a good couple of weeks for role-models. LeBron James, the face of the NBA, was busted for pushing the needle past 100 on the freeway. (No big deal, he shrugged it off). Dwight Howard, a rising star who will soon dominate, and a self-professes devout Christian, confirmed his fatherhood out of wedlock. Is it fair to lump these young men in with the naked-shopping rock-bottom excavating of Brittany Spears, the recently-relapsed Lindsay Lohan, or "papa-don't-preach-cause-I'm-keeping-the-baby Jamie Lynn Spears? Is it fair to ask these young men and women to behave in a way worthy of imitating? Charles Barkley famously affirmed that he was indeed not a role model and Dwayne Wade's most recent advertising blitz implores us not to be him...but be better. Unfortunately, we would do wise to apply these words across the board.
The media is not in the business of making role models, but rather takes it upon itself to zoom in on trainwreck tv, yet the mentor vacuum is made manifest on the local level as well. Teachers are pressured to reach particular performance platforms and coaches love the game and the win more than the participant. Recently, a student could not decide whether to attend the youth retreat or an athletic event. The coach counseled her with this wisdom: "God will be there (at the event) too" and "You can pray...while you play."
I know role models exist, I have them and work with them each and every week. There are tremendous people who are worthy of admiration and replication. How do we, specifically in the church, recapture and reaffirm the importance of role models?
The power of celebrity must be overcome with one-on-one, knee to knee, face to face communication of love and significance. In this way, the immanent God cuts through the romantic distance of celebrity through flesh and blood parents and mentors. Paradoxically, both students' and adults' desire to maintain a particular image not only covers up a yearning for connection but also prevents it. We must overcome our desire to be cool and to maintain our image if we are to overcome the celebrity image. In our concern for our image we abandon our students to the carefully cultivated celebrity image and the commercial and contrived concern therein. Our detachment is devastating.
If we are to be faithful to God and the next generation, we must not only criticize their unacceptable alternatives, but provide a better way. Students matter to God and we must make them matter to us. We must reject the "do as I say, not as I do" attitude and embrace an incarnational ministry that points out places of fallenness as a place where the Triune God works. We must not be afraid to be stupid and love foolishly for the sake of Jesus Christ. As students come to matter to us, love, leadership, and life-sharing flow from the earth of shared relationship. Role models are made of garbage men, manufacturers, golf players, exterminators, and, every now and again, pastors.

Happy Birthday, Baby 2:26 PM

When I was younger, I wanted to marry She-Ra. She was beautiful and she took on the bad guys alongside He-Man. I think (hope) I realized that the She-Ra was not real and therefore, my chances of actually marrying her were slim to none.

In fact, She-Ra does exist, and she is my wife.

I know of no other woman that can go through 38 hours of labor and be beautiful on the other end. There is no other woman that single-handedly balances baby poop and national public policy. She is a hot, hilarious heroine who takes on anybody that would take advantage of anyone else. She is smart and articulate, and can change the brakes on the car while stopping traffic in high heels.

She is not only my wife, but my teacher, my best-friend, my clothing-picker, and my hair-stylist. She is my hero and I am privileged to get to share life with her. True to form, she is testifying to the Kentucky Committee on Economic Policy today...with Stockton in tow.

Happy Birthday, Baby. I love you.

My Best Event Would Be Assualt 11:44 AM

In the spirit of yesterday's post, and a hat tip to Scott and Carissa Martin, I present to you the campy creation of my very own American Gladiator. My gladiator name....Solid.

"And look out! Here comes SOLID!"











In his free time, Solid fights crime as the BLUE FLAME!










Your turn! Let me know what you come up with!

Attempting Gladiators 7:57 PM

American Gladiators was an institution in my late 80s / early 90s home. My brother and I leapt into each other’s arms every time Mike Adamle and / or Larry Csonka announced that “Assault” was coming up next. (Tennis balls fired from a pneumatic cannon at much smaller and skinnier people.) In fact, my family was so into American Gladiators, my parents convinced my little brother that my father was going to try out for the show. (Funny story: Tryouts actually came to Louisville, my dad put on a t-shirt and went, my 6 year old brother told everyone on the way in that “MY DADDY IS GONNA BE ON AMERICAN GLADIATORS!” He did not actually try out.) So when a commercial touting an update on the spandex and cheesy names (Turbo, Ice, Thunder, Blaze to name a few) came on my 2.5 channel television, I nearly did the Joust all by myself. When the premiere went down last Sunday evening, I felt like I had gone a round in the Eliminator. By the time one pre-match interview consisted of one gladiator howling and the other dancing around screaming ooga-booga, I tapped out.

The show can’t decide whether it wants to be serious or campy. The “trash talk” between gladiators and competitors was forced and dumb. Hulk Hogan has become a caricature of himself (Actual quote, to a competitor named Venus, “The sun was aligned, the planets were aligned, the moon was aligned, the stars were aligned, and Venus was aligned baby!”) and Laila Ali has a bit of difficulty stringing two coherent sentences together.

It seemed forced, all of it, and the competitive kitsch that made the first American Gladiators so endearing was lost in the contrived trash talk, grunting, and ooga-boogaing. Would the new AG have been a hit had it been truer to the original? I can’t say. I can say that the 90s have passed, the world has changed. And sadly, this is no world for the indubitable Malibu.

SWEET!

It could be worse... 12:54 PM

So I fully acknowledge that I am a ridiculous Utah Jazz fan (who are sitting at a VERY disappointing 18-17 by the way). I own a number of Utah Jazz paraphernalia (including action figures, jerseys, shorts, autographed basketballs, mini-hoops,slippers...and Stockton has some Utah Jazz slippers too), but I will never be this guy.

This guy (and yes he deserves the "that guy" label underwent an hour and a half of inking in the first part of turning his whole head into a New England Patriots replica.

The kid in his arms looks frightened.

And rightfully so.

Traveling Tales - or - First Big Family Trip 1:45 PM

One hundred percent of the people that I have told that Dana and I took a six week old on an airplane to California for ten days have given me the same "I-can't-believe-you-did-that-you-foolish/brave-people." It was an interesting journey, here's some quick hit thoughts.

- Airplane bathrooms are not nearly as tiny as I had expected. I had never been in one prior to the diaper-changing dallies. One occasion, Stockton took aim and let fly (#2) sans diaper, and I was forced to use the clean diaper to cover him....and me. This would have been ok had I brought more than one diaper....but the stewardess was nice enough to go get another diaper from the hottie in 16F.

- I only got one "how old are you?" Maybe I should make a shirt with my driver's license?

- When I become an old man, I want to be an old man that wears hats. And ties. No matter what I'm doing. And a pipe.

- In Dallas, during a fast diaper change (the flight was LEAVING SOON), I lost the cap to the travel backside lotion. I discovered the aforementioned cap after we landed in Louisville. In my baby's diaper....

- Stockton caught a little bit of a cold on the way to Cali but is over it for the most part now. Thanks for the prayers and the well-wishes.

- Stockton was wide awake to ring in the New Year...but he seems to want to watch the ball drop EVERY night.

- (The third sentence in a row that starts with "Stockton") Stockton is starting to smile now. It is the sweetest little smile you have ever seen.

My new year's resolution - to not play video games quite as much :)