Pillow Talk 2:35 PM

My wife has an active imagination. Fortunately for me, her overactive imagination often freaks her out by leading her to outrageous scenarios that result in her impending death. For example, last night, while we were going to bed:

(Jason and Dana in bed, bedside table lamps on. Dana reading the first Harry Potter, Jason reading The Greatest Generation)

Jason: Okay, time for bed. (Turns off lamp, puts down book, gets comfortable)
Dana: OK, just let me get to the end. (with about 20-25 pages left)
Jason: You know what happens.
Dana: No, I don't. I intentionally forget.
Jason: Voldemort touches Harry and melts. Voldemort flies away. Quirrell dies.
(pause)
Dana: You ruined it for me! (puts book away, gets comfortable)
(pause)
(house creaks)
Dana: Jason, I'm scared! What if there is a homeless guy in our attic?
Jason: How would he get into the attic?
Dana: What if it's Voldemort coming to get us? I'm scared! I'm scared of Voldemort!
Jason: Voldemort died. And he's not real.
Dana: Put your leg over me so they kill you.
Jason: (unable to stop laughing)
Dana: Tell me a happy story so I can go to sleep....

Is this how other married people talk at night?

Stockton vs. the stairs (and Dubble Bubble) 3:08 PM

Toy Story 9:10 PM

Today after work, I met Dana and Stockton at Toys R Us. Dana was there getting a gate to keep Stockton from participating in his newest favorite pastime - climbing stairs. I have been waiting to walk through the action figure aisle with my boy, but either he was asleep or we were in too much of a hurry to make it happen until now.

G.I. Joe has been so kind as to re-release all of the old school figures for its 25th anniversary - which put classic Duke, Flint, and Cobra Commander within arm's reach of Stockton, who smiled, snatched up, and sucked on G.I. Joes.

This, my friends, is what we call full circle.

Ugh 4:40 PM

Yesterday, running to Kroger to get a pan to make some extra-delicious Brownies, I was pulling out of my driveway and noticed two cats sprawled in the yard next door. I looked directly at one of them and said, out loud, "*curse word* cats, I wish you would quit running around my neighborhood."




This morning, Dana discovered a large cat turd on the trunk of my car.


Do you think he heard me?



Further proof that cats are the devil.

I like my milk in a mug. 10:05 PM

This evening, Dana reminded me that she didn't like it when I drank out of a mug, rather than the plethora of glasses we have. After nearly four years of marriage, she still did not know I prefer my milk in a mug - something about the handle and the thick porcelain make milk even more delicious. (Real milk - not nasty soy milk. blech) Here are some other things I'm not sure Dana (or anyone else knows) about me.

- I have only purchased one hat in my life. A navy blue Gonzaga hat that was a dual homage to John Stockton and this guy.

- Over the course of my life, I have wanted to earn my living being a veterinarian, a fighter pilot, and a high school English teacher. I kind of wanted to be in the NBA, but knew early on that wasn't going to happen.

- I think black licorice is the devil. There is nothing nastier.

- When I eat Starburst, possibly my favorite candy, I suck on it and let it get soft before chewing it up. My favorite type of candy is gummi though - gummi bears, worms, pterodactyls - whatever.

- I own more Stephen King books than any other author. Not sure I wanted to admit that - but horror aside, he really is a tremendous story teller.

- I am terrified of spiders.

- When I was younger, I was scared a burglar would break into my home through my window - so I made my brother sleep closer to the window so said burglar would kill him. In the process of killing him, I was sure I would wake up, and be able to run.

- I have never owned a pair of Air Jordans. I did rock the Reebok Pumps though. (The best part was letting the air OUT - pssssssssssss)

- I made up a dance called "the flea". And have performed it on several occasions - only for Dana though!

- I think people falling down is, for some reason, ridiculously hilarious. (I really honestly try not to laugh...but I am laughing right now typing this.)

- I am a cover guy when I am sleeping. Even when it is super hot, I need some covers.

- I would rather smell poop than the spray air freshener people use to cover it up.

- I was on the quick recall team in elementary and middle school. I started my forth and fifth grade year. (Bzzzz - Aburndale, Brown.)

The Dark Knight (of the soul) 1:41 PM

Has it really been over a month? Yikes. My body and soul is recovering from the nearly 1700 miles of travel in just over a month. I'll get back in the swing of things soon. Below is my impression of The Dark Knight. I've tried to keep it devoid of any spoilers, but still...read at your own risk.

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In the early minutes of The Dark Knight, the film reminds the audience of both its immediate predecessor (Batman Begins) and its four far-removed parents (the good to ghastly previous installments), with a run of the mill encounter between the Scarecrow and a slew of fake "Batman"s. Both villain and pretenders are dispatched as the dark knight himself foreshadows the film. The dismissal of not only the Batman Begins villain (and the films predecessor) and the Batman pretenders (the previous incarnations of of the franchise ranging from 60s camp to 90s pretense) is parlayed beyond spandex-clad superfluity into a noir on the state of homo sapiens.
The Dark Knight isn't about the Joke, the Batman, or Two-Face as much as it is a character study on humanity itself. As Gotham comes more and more unhinged, its citizens, and the drawn-in audience are forced to choose; not between good and evil, but between order, chaos, and the gray area in between. Good and evil become intertwined in a gray descent that only delivers dystopia. When the cameras ultimately cut away, there is no satisfaction, only exhalation and examination.
While all the actors imbue a gritty realism to their respective roles, Heath Ledger's Joker crackles on-screen; equal parts hilarious and homicidal, he has set a new standard for any movie villian - costumed or not. Each encounter with him inches Batman, Gotham, and the audience closer to entropy, yet he is charming enough for you to (horrifyingly!) ignore it, from his first "magic trick" to his final cackling assessment of Batman, and the connection therein. The Joke is a lingering kiss with chaos that haunts post theater parking lot.
The Dark Knight fleshes out a number of themes in the space between rotting white face paint and black "titanium weave" suits. Amidst the explosions and new "bat gadgets", an in-depth discussion on the nature of human beings is played out, with the audience standing with Harvey Dent and Gotham on the precipice of chaos-caused madness. Are people "good" or merely controlled? Does Batman exist to protect the public, or does his very existence threaten to exterminate them? Ultimately, is faith in the better part of people fabricated by false ideals or do all of us live between the bat-signal and self-induced scars? One could argue that the ones who play by the rules are those who are ultimately harmed the most.
I am not sure that I have ever seen a finer film. More than anything, it is a violent, visceral journey to the center of Gothamites, and by extension, everyone in the plush chairs. The Dark Knight goes beyond dazzling special effects to deliver a gut-checking thesis on humanity itself.